Quality Cult Cinema

The Castle (1997)

2011-12-24T17:20:00.001+01:00

I would like to thank all of you who follow this blog, for all the nice comments and feedback and kind words. It's you who inspire me to keep on going, and post ever more obscure films.

My Christmas present to you is a warm and fuzzy comedy from down under, whose characters might very well be the definition of quirkiness. There's no violence or horror or even that much drama. The Castle is simply good wholesome entertainment, that is perfect for a snuggly time with your loved ones, in between all the food and drinks and hugs and kisses.

Happy holidays!

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Kindred: The Embraced (1996)

2011-12-16T12:49:00.000+01:00

Twilight is raking it in at the box office and True Blood is still going strong.

These are troubled times.

Kids these days... (yes, I said it) They don't know about the alternatives.

You don't have to settle for less, you know. There are good vampire shows out there.

More exciting and dramatic and stylish and romantic and sexy and scary: the magnificence of The Kindred has yet to be surpassed.

This show had it all, and was only cancelled because the lead actor died in a motorcycle accident.

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Threads (1984) & The Day After (1983)

2011-12-13T10:58:00.000+01:00

Like Armageddon & Deep Impact, Antz & A Bugs Life, Repo & Repo Men, these two are also sibling films that for some reason came out at just about the same time.

They both try to give a realistic portrayal of what it would be like in the event of a nuclear war, but to be perfectly honest, it's been a fair while since I saw them, and I can't really remember which is which. One is British and one American, but other than that I just remember enjoying both of them in a disturbing kind of way.

You got your bombs and smoke-clouds and fallout. And there's panic and disease and people generally having a lousy time of it...

You know: Entertainment.

The fact that they came out in the 80s however, meant that the cold war was still going on, and the apocalyptic threat was not taken as lightly. Still, there's nothing like a good scare to make you appreciate life, and as such these films still manages to rattle the cage.

Threads IMDB
The Day After IMDB

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The Running Man (1987)

2011-12-06T13:00:00.000+01:00

Is The Running Man a good movie? Well... eh....

Is it awesome? FUCK YEAH!

"Good" and "enjoyable" doesn't always have to mean the same thing. In fact, they can be just about opposite, as proved in this Stephen King classic.

While the premise is not a bad one (convicted felons being forced to run for their lives while cartoonish hitmen hunt them down on live television) the movie has not aged well. It was made in the 80s, but the costumes and sets and music and camerawork all have a coarse quality that feel like the 70s. It's actually somewhat reminiscent of Logan's Run in style, and difficult to believe it actually came three years after the first Terminator film.

But common... this is Arnold at the top of his game! He's big, and he runs, and he struggles to utter simple catchphrases... What's not to love? Back in those days, it wasn't a question of liking Schwarzenegger or not. It was a question of getting your ass kicked.

Those were the days...

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Detours (2004)

2011-12-05T13:00:00.001+01:00

This is something totally different.

The short explanation would be to call it a breakdance video. However that doesn't quite cover it. I'd rather say it's an artistic endeavor of remarkable visuals, set to enticing music.

There is breakdance, sure, but not the silly robot-moves you remember from the 80s. These guys twist their bodies in such impossible ways, they are often asked if there's any bone structure beneath their skin. You've seen one of the performers, who goes by the name David Elsewhere, on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Alice in Wonderland, Heineken and Volkswagen ads, as well as other viral videos.

But then, this is not merely a video showcasing dancing. Using out of the way locations in an unnamed metropol, the camerawork, editing and simple effects, create an immersive experience, that's somehow soothing, and perfect eye-candy to project on a wall at a party, or to keep you entertained on those days you don't have energy for thoughts.

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The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)

2011-12-04T13:00:00.000+01:00

Another Stuart Gordon gem. This time with good old Lance "Scarface" Henriksen.

One of the reasons I want to post this, is that a little while ago I had to write a review of Season of the Witch. In case you haven't seen that (and I hope you haven't) let me spare you. It's bad. No, it's worse than bad: it's insulting!

Still, when I checked the IMDB page, I found tons of people who actually though it was a good movie. While everyone is of course entitled to their opinion, I believe that anyone who thinks Season of the Witch is a decent film, doesn't have much of a reference.

They can't know that it's been done before.

With superior actors, better effects, prettier women, more elaborate sets, and a story that actually makes sense.

While it does have its flaws, The Pit and the Pendulum is still so much better, it make Season of the Witch feel like someone spit in your face.

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An Evening with Kevin Smith (2002)

2011-12-03T13:00:00.000+01:00

This is something only the hardcore film freaks will enjoy, but he or she will enjoy it endlessly!

Combining stand-up and behind-the-scenes gossip, Kevin Smith holds a Q&A about what it is like being Kevin Smith. That's all. Just a guy standing on a stage answering questions.

But even if you're not a big fan of his movies, his storytelling skills, snappy responses, charisma and humor, will have you in tears. His story about a script he wrote for a Superman film that never came to be, makes it the only Q&A you will ever want to see multiple times..

This was such a success that several sequels were produced. However, like sequels go, none of those reached the same level of excellence.

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The Sting (1973)

2011-12-02T14:30:00.000+01:00

The Sting is as close to a perfect movie you're gonna get, ranking up there with The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, The Good the Bad and the Ugly and Shawshank Redemption. It was a huge production that won a whole bunch of Oscars, and was a tremendous success when it first came out.

Yet, for some reason, it is very rarely mentioned, and just about non-existent when compared to the aforementioned films.

So let's go back to the 1930s, when style was what it was all about. The hats, the suspenders, the wooden interiors, the cigars, the women and the deck of cards...

Like watching a good flower power film about the hippy times, The Sting paints a picture of the 30s in such a way that you will be wishing you were around in those days.

The plot is a ballet of perfectly knitted scenes which entertain to no end, and a whole pile of twists that spin you around like a ballerina. Paul Newman and Robert Redford were born to play the smiling con-men, both with a whole pack of aces up their sleeves, and the music... well... can't you hear it playing in your head already?

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Thumb Wars (1999)

2011-12-01T13:41:00.000+01:00

I'm not really a Star Wars fan, but this thumbellion parody is so hilarious, I've seen it again and again.

It's just what it sounds like: Star Wars with thumbs.

While Star Wars parodies have become so common they're basically dominating youtube, this is the one that gets everything right.

Written and directed by the great Steve Oedekerk (who also brought you Kung Pow) the jokes are so tightly wound, it'll take multiple viewings just to get half of them.

After watching this, you'll be ecstatic to know there's five more thumb parodies out there. Sadly, mr. Oedekerk has nothing but producer credits on the others, and except for Batthumb which is mildly amusing, the rest are best avoided.

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The Hidden (1987)

2011-12-01T00:31:00.000+01:00

The 80s was a long exercise in bad taste, but boy did some awesome movies come out of it.

The Hidden is the perfect example.

It has everything a good movie needs: Strippers, revolvers, fast cars, shotguns, aliens, flame throwers, drugs, Kyle MacLachlan, bazookas, great one-liners, a messed up ending and a handicapped man being run over to a hard rock soundtrack. There's lot's of explosions and a pretty cool story to boot. A police station shoot-out is so bad ass, it rivals the one in The Terminator. And everything is made with a disdain for the political correctness that's messed up all action films to come after.

Don't bother with the incredibly boring sequel though.

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The Isle (2000)

2011-11-28T10:12:00.000+01:00

The Isle is one of my favorite Ki-duk Kim films.

It's a bit difficult to describe why, because like all his films, it is very quiet, with almost no dialogue, and all about the atmosphere.

He even made one of the characters mute. Still, she is a glorious femme fatale, though (like all of her kind) she does not wish to be.

The title might be a play on the term "No man is an island" with emphasis on -play- as the dear director physically put a man on house-boat floating on a lake.

I won't give any more away, except to say it's a love story that I can recommend as something to watch with a girlfriend or wife or transvestite prostitute or whatever female company you like to keep. Unless your loved one is the type who's into Fast and the Furious and Jason Statham. Then I advice you make fun of her, and tell her she's fat.

Because if The Isle teaches us anything, it is that love should hurt.

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Fear of a Black Hat (1993)

2011-11-26T02:00:00.000+01:00

"What is the difference between a bitch and a ho? A ho fucks everyone, but a bitch fucks everyone except you."

Want more? Well, you're just gonna have to watch this hilarious spoof about the rise and fall of a crew of hip hopping yo-yo-wadzap-dudes.

You will witness: Big booty bitches that match over sized egos, giant watches and too wide pants, misogynistic lyrics to crappy 90s beats, racism, cursing, violence, bad acting and hats.

Lots of hats.

Hailed by some as the Spinal Tap of hip hop, Fear of a Black Hat is one of the funniest mocumentaries on rap music there is. (Though Ali-G is pretty great, to my knowledge there is only one more movie in the narrow genre. And that plain out sucks!)

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Straw Dogs (1971)

2011-11-24T18:30:00.000+01:00

The fact that Straw Dogs does not try to please the viewer, is exactly its strength.

It's a rough and brutal story about pessimism and meaningless violence, set in a world where there are no heroes. Dustin Hoffman may play the lead, but his charming character is just as guilty as everybody else, in thinking he is right, and that his way must be the law.

The grimy structure the characters inhabit shakes ever more intensely, as vengeful people consumed by hate, lash out against each other, always amping the pain, to not be considered equal.

Directed by the mythical Sam Peckinpah, it still packs a punch, some 40 years after its release. It's much more than "just another thriller" and the somber nihilism will haunt you for a long time to come.

Sometimes you need movies like this.

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Salem's Lot (1979)

2011-11-22T12:00:00.000+01:00

Stephen King movies have wrongfully attained a bad rep. No matter if the longest reigning film on the IMDB Top-list, and what is globally considered the best movie in history, is based on King's work. The problem is there's just so many other King adaptations, a lot of which are terrible sequels attempting to cash in on minor successes. Children of the Corn 6, Sometimes They Come Back for More, Maximum Overdrive, The Mangler, Dreamcatcher... are all admittedly pretty bad.

Salem's Lot on the other hand, is the opposite. It is King's version of a vampire mythos, and such an epic tale that I would dare say it even rivals that of Nosferatu. Directed by the strange Tobe Hooper, the film retains a haunting atmosphere, that refuses to be forgotten.

Nor can I forget the line from King's novel: "There's no life here, but the slow death of days."

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The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971) & Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

2011-11-17T12:19:00.000+01:00

Very few horror films from the early '70s have aged well. Too often they suffer from lame effects, bad make-up, theatrical acting and tacky storylines. While still enjoyable, by today's standard they are usually more comedic than genuinely scary.

The makers of Dr. Phibes might have had some understanding of this, and decided to forget about the scariness all together and go for full entertainment, bordering on parody.

They let Vincent Price loose, at the top of his game, as the pipe-organ-playing-madman with a sense of romance and a lust for revenge. Though his character is mute, his wondrous voice has opportunity to sing, as he narrates his murders through a tube to his neck.

The real stars of the films however, are the policemen hot on his trail. They hobble along like a pair of Inspector Clouseaus, making silly observations and quirky comments that will have you watch both films back to back.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes - IMDB
Dr. Phibes Rises Again - IMDB
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Forgotten Silver (1995)

2011-11-14T23:16:00.000+01:00

It's extremely difficult to write anything about this gem, without spoiling it so bad, that you might as well not watch it. That's why I'll be even more sparse than usual, in saying what the hell it's about. Now, you could just go anywhere else and find out what it's about in a jiffy, but that'll just ruin the experience.

Enough to say that it's Peter Jackson's least famous feature. It's a documentary about a another filmmaker. And therefore, it's probably mostly interesting to hardcore film freaks.

There's nothing stopping you checking IMDB or Wikipedia or anything else, but you'll be angry you did.

Me not telling you anything more, is for your own good.

The person who put this film online, was nice enough to include the commentary as additional audio track, as well as the deleted scenes and even the making of. These are of course stuffed with even more spoilers, and should not be watched before you've seen the full feature. But, once you have, you'll be delighted there's more...

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Eating Raoul (1982)

2011-11-11T21:54:00.000+01:00

Not very many people seem to know about this one, which is really sad because it’s quite an entertaining little movie. The theme is moral decay, and even though the ending is basically spoiled in the title, the journey there is well worth your time.

If you're still not intrigued, then I should tell you there's sex. Sure, there's loads of it. Whip-cracking, sadomachocistic, latex attired, strap-on dildoed, gag-ball mumbling, leather bound Christian cannibals, who go at it any which way.

All in a plot to save the world, of course.

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Dead Heat (1988)

2011-11-09T07:43:00.000+01:00

Do you like stupid movies? Look no further.

Dead Heat is the silliest thing you will ever find. There's monsters and zombies and headless chickens and living pieces of steak and all kinds of awesomeness.

Story? Sure, there is one... something about a machine that brings dead stuff back to life, and the two policemen working the case... But all that doesn't matter. You could watch any scene individually and it would be just as hilarious, much thanks to Joe Piscopo whose face alone is enough to make a cancer patient giggle. When he speaks, you'll be in stitches.

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and while some of the effects are quite good, there's some that'll make you curse.

Still, you could watch it again and again.

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Baraka (1992)

2011-10-26T12:30:00.000+02:00

This is not a traditional feature film, nor a documentary. Rather just images of fundamental weight and importance.

There's no voice-over or general story, but still Baraka takes you on a journey through landscapes which invoke a spiritual experience and a yearning for knowledge. Existentially provocative at times, and surprisingly humorous at others, the world you see is twirled in variations of life.

Meditation is a vital part of the plot, though if the meditative thoughts belong to a frozen monk on a mountain, or to yourself, is impossible to know. Though the images speak for themselves, the editing gently suggests connections that will chaperon your mind into new ways of thinking.

Stunningly filmed on 70mm reels, the experience grants an abnormal consistence of being neither fake nor real, and you'll have a hard time convincing yourself the kindred souls you meet on your way, are not actors.

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Day of the Triffids (1962)

2011-10-21T11:30:00.000+02:00

The sky lit up in bright fire of colors changing like a psychedelic hallucination. Nobody could resist the mesmerizing visualization, intranced to the ever changing patterns above. For many, it was the most amazing night of their lives. It would also be the last night they'd ever see.

For the next day was without light. Everyone had lost their sight and were screaming for someone to help them. There was no traffic or people waiting in line. An ant like chaos reigned throughout the human colony.

They could still hear, but the ambient world surrounding them was not recognizable. Filled with clattering sounds of uneven rhythms, insect-like snaps and jagged edges smoldering rough material.

The Triffids had arrived.

And nobody were the wiser.

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Agnosia (2010)

2011-10-20T11:30:00.000+02:00

Imagine Delicatessen without the slapstick. Add a bit of The Prestige and sprinkle with a dash of Romeo and Juliet, with just a few pinches of Jack the Ripper, and you might have an inkling about what Agnosia is about.

This is a film that is hard to define, and that is exactly its strength. Don't be fooled by the period piece setting, for beneath it's cape hides a dragon of a movie. Part love story, part steampunk, part thriller and part historical drama; the screenplay always keeps you guessing as the web spins ever wider.

And while you're trying to figure out what the heck it is you're watching, you're being dragged in ever deeper, into a magical world which you never thought you'd care about, but suddenly feel utterly addicted to.

The acting, soundtrack, artwork and especially the cinematography all cooperate perfectly to create the most mind-boggling universe, where there's more to take in, than a single viewing can handle.

I shouldn't oversell it, but to be honest, the best way I can think to describe it, is a Blade Runner set somewhere around the 1900 mark.

Agnosia will be most appreciated with a chilled bottle of red wine. Spanish, of course.

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The Element of Crime (1984)

2011-10-19T20:01:00.000+02:00

Orange and black. Yellow and red.

These colors are the sum of Lars von Trier's debut feature, which put him on the map as one of our time's most visionary directors. And his vision was a very visual one, with a 'style over substance' philosophy that just about abolished the plot. Early hints of his more recent experimentations with theatrics are also to be found, in the form of blunt performances by actors who are merely saying their lines because the script demands there be some progress.

But this does not make it a lesser experience, far from it. Rather, it adds to the dreamy atmosphere of a post apocalyptic past, where nothing is normal, yet everything belongs.

Like rain drops sending signals through flooded libraries and sweat making bald heads glisten under swinging lamps. Fires on the banks of rusty docklands, and ashes of life-long devotion floating still in the air. Crumpled cars that looks like they were in a shootout with rubber bullets, and several voice-overs fighting to take control of the images.

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Buffet Froid (1979)

2011-10-18T11:51:00.000+02:00

- I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes.
- What about?
- Your wife.
- You knew her?
- I killed her.
- Come in. Have you eaten?
- No.
- I've some soup leftover...want some?
- Well, I wouldn't say no.
- Doesn't taste good?
- Yes...
- Then why are you making a face like that?
- It won't go down.
- Upset stomach?
- I think about her...
- Who?
- Your wife.
- Do as I do... Forget about her!
- I can't forget her!
- Now, pull yourself together, or I'll throw you out!

-----

This is a direct copy of the dialogue in Buffet Froid, and should be reason enough for anyone to want to see it.

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Death Race 2000 (1975)

2011-10-17T13:18:00.000+02:00

Back in 1975, people had some interesting visions of the future. They thought that cities would consist of colorful buildings with circular design. They thought people would wear either cowboy outfits or full-on S&M suits. And the most popular sport would be running over pedestrians in cars with teeth.

While this didn't exactly come true, the predictions sure makes for an entertaining movie, that's even cheesier than you suspect.

Add to that a young Sylvester Stalone, so unknown he's not even on the poster, and you've got yourself a classic.

I know there were recently a couple remakes made, but I haven't even bothered with them. Should I?

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Monday (2000)

2011-10-15T10:56:00.002+02:00

Do you ever do some really stupid stuff, that you can't believe nobody is stopping you from, and you sit afterwards wondering: Did I really do that?

Like drinking with the Yakuza: You know it's a bad idea, but you've got some fingers to spare. Because when you dance with the dragon, you better know the right moves. No time for limbo or riverdance. The only way to go is overboard, and your feet better be burning or cold steel will soon penetrate your stomach.

Only those who don't care if they die, will come out alive, and if you don't have a hangover on Monday, then you're probably six feet under.

It sure makes for some interesting stories though, if you remember them, that is.

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Highway to Hell (1991)

2011-10-14T11:52:00.004+02:00

If ever you're driving along a desert road at night, on your way to get married in Las Vegas, and you get stopped by a pretentious policeman who doesn't say a word, well, then you're on your way to hell.

That is exactly what happens in this demonic adventure, that takes you to the other side, into the coolest depiction of hell ever to be put on celluloid.

There you will see Hitler and a three-headed dog, a horny corpse, a loose leg gone hopping off by itself, conveyor belts of sinners and a slick Devil looking for new ways to be entertained. There's even a "Hell Cop" who terrorizes innocent drivers, just like they do in reality.

It doesn't even try to be scary, but instead plays out like an Indiana Jones film, with a lower budget, meaning less political correctness. And oh yeah... This is a film that goes very well together with beer and friends with a sense of humor. =)

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Cigarette Burns (2005)

2011-10-13T15:38:00.000+02:00

You know those little black holes that sometimes flash for a quarter of a second at the upper right corner of a film? Some people call them cigarette burns, and they used to cue theater projectionists to start up the next film reel in, before the invasion of digital projection. This vicious one hour feature suggests they might have a different purpose as well.

As a sort of update of his own In the Mouth of Madness, Carpenter returns with a tribute to horror film enthusiasts. Somewhat similar to Polanski's Ninth Gate, the film follows a tormented man, who makes a living by hunting down rare films. The plot plays around with namedropping actual films, festivals and facts, mixed with slight twists of the truth, in a most ingenious manner, making the protagonist struggle to separate truth from fiction the closer he gets to his holy grail.

This works so well, that the real scare factor comes not from the beautiful blood and gore, but the sneaking suspicion that you, the viewer, might also be in danger by merely watching the film.

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Reindeerspotting (2010)

2011-10-12T11:22:00.000+02:00

This is just what it sounds like, except that it's a documentary. And what a documentary it is!

We follow a drug abusing teenager on his journey to oblivion. He steals car stereos, robs grocery stores, hustles welfare, lies, cries and laughs at the judicial system. Generally an up-to-no-good dickhead that you wouldn't want as your friend. But he doesn't pretend to be anything else, and has a weirdly emphatic self irony about his destructive ways.

The amazing thing though, is that this was not filmed with the intention of making a documentary. The film sprung from another junkie who got a hold of a video camera, and simply started filming the people around him. Years went by before he thought of getting help to put it together into something watchable.

Knowing this, the film seems to be one big strike of luck. Because the story is elaborately filmed with suspense curves and structuring most screenwriters would kill for. Some of the shots (pun intended) will make you cringe, while others laugh or cry. The honest and raw tale is beautifully documented to such an extent, that it seems almost to perfect to be real.

This has made it the most successful documentary ever to come out of Finland. Whether you want to get educated on the joys and dangers of drugs or watch a really good documentary, this is an experience you simply can't miss.

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Man Bites Dog (1992)

2011-10-11T09:41:00.004+02:00

This is the original.

You've seen the ripoffs. Films like Street Thief, The Magician, or even the sweet Kenny, and countless others. Mockumentaries that follow a professional of some sorts, going about his daily routines. Sometimes it's a serial killer, sometimes a movie monster, a hitman, a thief or a simple toilet cleaner.

But they all falter when compared to the Man who bit the Dog. This Belgian black and white film is dark and rough and controversial, and pretty darn funny.

It's about a guy who goes around killing people, and the camera crew that follow him. Some people say it's shocking and disturbing, and I call those people "older ladies".

Comedy should always be this dark.

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Angel's Egg (1985)

2011-10-09T16:42:00.001+02:00

After decades of obsessive hunting for ever more obscure masterworks, it is very rare that I stumble upon something that is truly amazing, which I have never even heard mentioned before. But Angel's Egg is the jackpot! It is strange and original and wonderful, so much so that I find it strange that nobody's ever told me about it.

It is dark and mysterious and ominous and pretty much everything that Disney ain't. There's only two characters, none of which are animals that talk, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't have a happy ending.

Don' worry though, I didn't spoil it. Because though I could try to give you an interpretation as to what it is actually about, that wouldn't be interesting at all. The fact that it moves extremely slow (stressed out individuals can move right along) is purposely done and serves the images right, as you will need time to let your eyes wander across the wondrous paintings of a past future. Spending time trying to look for a deeper meaning, will be like looking for logic in a dream.

The only thing I can compare it to is Fantastic Planet, and truth be told, I'd have a difficult time saying which of the two should be placed above the other.

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Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

2011-10-05T13:42:00.001+02:00

Ok, so this movie ain't old enough to be considered cult. Heck, it ain't even come out in theaters in some places yet. But that don't matter none, cause if ever the term "instant classic" was to be used, none so deserves it more than Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.

It's been a long time since a film made me laugh this much. That being said, it's crucial that you don't watch the trailer, cause it tells you all the punchlines, without any build-up.

So why what else can I tell you to make you want to watch the dang thing, without ruining it? Well, it's got chainsaws, impaled organs, burning flesh, chopped off limbs, whole torsos gone missing and skinny dipping bimbo babes.

I told you it was hilarious, didn't I?

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Paris, Texas (1984)

2011-09-12T18:08:00.003+02:00

A man is walking through the desert. Where he comes from and where he's going to, nobody knows. Not even himself. Aimlessly he wanders through the emptiness, like tumbleweed.

There are a few movies which you know you're going to like from the very first second. Movies whose images are so beautifully drawn, it's like you are walking through an art gallery. And you don't want the movie to movie on, because you want to study the colors and look at the clouds and breathe the air and feel the gravel under your feet; and suddenly the world around you is but the movie, and nothing else.

Deep inside the beauty lies a mystery. Because nothing can come of nothing; and our man in the desert has a past, and maybe even a future. Luckily, he is in no hurry to tell his story, and will only speak to those who cannot stand his silence no more.

Are you one of them?

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Bone (1972)

2011-05-23T03:35:00.003+02:00

What's a rapist nigger to do, after the white bitches stopped being afraid of him? It used to be special. The scratching and clawing and screams of "Oh, there's a nigger in the house!" used to drive the man crazy with lust. But they took all the mystery out of it. Now they're treating the black men like people, and the poor rapist nigger can't even get it up no more.

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Think that's offensive? Then wait 'till you see the rest of Bone, or Beverly Hills Nightmare, as it was also called. It is one of the hardest hitting social satires you will ever see. Racism, alcoholism, sexism, exploitation of death, rape and animal cruelty... everything is turned on its head in this hammer of a movie.

Bone was the directorial debut of famed auteur Larry Cohen, and the writing is probably the best of his amazing career. This is the story Oscar Wilde wished he had written, blasting all political correctness to smithereens and forming a film that is even more powerful today than it was upon its release some 40 years ago. Bone is a piece of movie history no intellectual should let go unseen.

Not only is it on the money, it is also hysterical, and has a super funky soundtrack to boot.

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I did a search, and was greatly surprised to see that apparently there is no Larry Cohen fanpage. Or if there is, I couldn't find it. I'm considering setting up one myself, but as I'm not too good with webdesign, I'm wondering if somebody is interested in going on this little venture with me?

If not, then I hope you enjoy the movie. =)

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Hambuster (2011)

2011-05-09T23:15:00.001+02:00

We've all seen movies about killer condoms, killer snowmen, killer clowns, killer tires, killer elevators, killer symbols, killer videocassettes and other murderous appliances of various kinds.

So what's left?

Killer hamburgers of course.

Not only is it a great premise for a film, but the outlandish execution makes for one of the goriest and most entertaining animated epics you will ever see.

The film was made as a graduation project for a bunch of animation students, and the fun they had making this makes every frame shine.

If only the bigger studios would dare take off their gloves and try to make something as cool as this once in a while...

No IMDB link, but an OFFICIAL WEBPAGE
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I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

2011-05-02T23:24:00.001+02:00

The title really does say it all, basically spoiling the whole plot.

And if you suspect this is another silly movie, you don't even know the half of it. The promise of a long scene with a flying piece of turd that talks, might give you a vague idea. South Park eat your heart out.

The rest of the film is just a long line of dry jokes and predictable puns. Now, some people might think this makes it a bad movie, and I call those people "sober."

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle will remind you not to take life so seriously.

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A Boy and his Dog (1975)

2011-04-19T00:56:00.000+02:00

So the apocalypse has happened, leaving the world a dusty inferno. Those few who survive must fight for the most primal necessities, like food, water and... well, sex.

Common, just because the world has ended doesn't mean we lose our love for tits and ass.

That's right. Armageddon is no match for everyday horniness.

Who better then, to protagonize the tale, than a man who's horny as a dog, and... his dog. To make it even more interesting, the two are able to communicate. Telepathically. Yep.

And then there's this whole thing where they're pulled into a big underground society and... oh, you're just gonna have to see it.

It's funny, clever, entertaining, and ages well. Kind of like the perfect mate.

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Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

2011-04-14T22:38:00.000+02:00

Woody Allen. The name alone is enough to induce awe and admiration in anyone who has even the slightest interest in movies. The man has been going at it for some 61 years now, and has a pretty decent track record. Bar the occasional dud, you can be pretty sure you're in for a good time, whenever you watch one of his movies.

But some of them give you more than just a good time. Some of them will make you go "Wow!" Bullets over Broadway is one of those movies.

As with any Allen movie, Bullets over Broadway is whimsical and slightly silly and full of frustrated characters who obsess over minuscule problems. While not one of his funniest films, several scenes will definitely make you smile.

However that's not what provides the Wow-effect.

That comes from the incredibly clever way Allen makes life imitate art, imitate life, imitate art. The story is about a young sceenwriter who tries to put on the perfect play, and though it might take a little while for you to realize it, soon you will start to notice that this play and the screenwriter's life are quite similar. More and more the two flow into one another, to a point where the two are almost inseparable, in a way that has surely been of great inspiration to subsequent auteurs, Charlie Kaufman being the most prominent.

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God of Love (2010)

2011-04-10T19:39:00.000+02:00

This year's Oscar winning short film was made by Luke Matheny. It's cleverly scripted, well shot, beautifully scored and quite well acted. The film is directed, written by, and acted in by Luke himself, the young man showing great talent in more ways than you can count. The amazing thing though, is that Luke Matheny is still in school. The 34 year old filmmaker has not even fully started his career and already he's a world famous director.

His film is a cute and funny little thing about love. Like so many other great directors have debuted with their feature before him, he chose to shoot God of Love in black & white. Whereas this choice can sometimes seem a bit strange in this age of IMAX 3D, the noir-like atmosphere perfectly suits his story of pale infatuation.

Although not as good as last year's winner, my only complaint with God of Love is that it's too short. It's going to be exiting to follow Luke Matheny's career, and see if his first feature will live up to expectations.

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Good Bye Lenin! (2003)

2011-04-07T01:00:00.001+02:00

Enough violence. Let's watch something cosy.

Good Bye Lenin is a cute and clever and funny and moving piece of perfect filmmaking, which almost rivals that of Amélie. Indeed, the same person composed the soundtrack to both films with such perfection, it's difficult to say which score is most beautiful.

You might also see similarities to Roberto Benigni's masterpiece Life is Beautiful, in that Good Bye Lenin also draws its humor from a rather unusual theme: East Berlin before the wall fell.

While the acting, camerawork and music all are outstanding, it's the screenwriting that impressed me the most. The script plays with various themes effortlessly, drawing ideas back and forth with such perfect timing, that it seems the writer basically invented the art.

And that's all I will tell you.

I made a big mistake of watching the trailer before seeing the actual film. Although it did make me want to see it, it was also littered with spoilers which ruined a lot of funny moments (like always) when I saw the full movie.

Just watch the damned thing...

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SUBTITLES (subscene)

Salute of the Jugger (1989)

2011-04-03T20:45:00.001+02:00

The Juggers are coming. No, not the Juggies from the Man Show. The Juggers!

Written and directed by David Webb Peoples (who also wrote Blade Runner and Unforgiven) and staring Rutger Hauer in what might be his second best role (after Blade Runner of course) this is one mind-blowing epic which somehow disappeared into a black hole of sci-fi history.

Obviously inspired by Kin Dza-Dza, the setting is a not to distant desert world, where food and morale is low. The only thing people have to look forward to is when the Juggers come to town, to compete in a gladiator-like fight.

Even though you don't understand the rules of their brutal show in the beginning of the film, you will soon be rooting for the tattered heroes, as they travel from village to village on a journey to win a sliver of respect and glory.

The sport of the Juggers is simple, yet so engaging that it has inspired people to take it up in real life. There is currently more than 30 teams from all over the world, actively competing "jugging," although in a much whimpier fashion than in the movie.

It was filmed in Australia, and though many like to compare it to Mad Max, Salute of the Jugger is by no means a rip-off, and could even be called "what Mad Max 3 should have been."

A trimmed down and censored version was released with the title "The Blood of Heroes" (hence the poster) but the link I've included here is the full, uncut version. Sadly a lot of elaborate scenes were apparently cut from this version as well, but that was on accord of problems during production.

Still, the end result is an amazing film, which just like Kin Dza-Dza, will have you do the Jugger salute with all your friends, for years to come.

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Reel Murder - An essay on snuff films

2011-03-31T05:12:00.004+02:00

Introduction: This is an essay I wrote a few years ago, for which I won a couple of awards. I was also contacted by a publisher who proclaimed interest, but as nothing more came of it, I am now posting it here instead. Hope you enjoy it.
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This photo shows Chinese artist Zhu Yu, eating what appears to be a dead fetus. Mr. Zhu claims infant was stolen from a medical school.

Reel Murder

Have you ever heard of snuff movies?

Some of you probably have. For the rest of you, let me explain: A snuff movie is something real. It’s something horrible. Something so sinister and vile, dirty and utterly perverted, you cannot help but cringe, and curl your toes. It’s something that makes you feel. And it’s something, which you can buy.

Not everybody can, of course. The road to snuff is a long trod, paved by dirty pragmatism, smeared with excrement and blood, past blocks of depression and skeletal facades of normality. It coils through a maze of nihilistic shrubbery, where fields of rotting glee taunt and tassel, and distorted images of dread constantly whip you in the face. And then finally, whilst wading through the dirtiest depths of mucus, you meet a guy called Jimmy.

Being an avid horror movie collector, I had been searching for the ultimate scare for a long time. My personal collection numbers more than 6000 titles, and I have pretty much seen the very worst there is of what is legal, and quite a lot of what is not. Yet the snuff movie legend had always tantalized me with its constant reluctance to disprove itself as a myth. So, I started digging.

The term “snuff movie” was first coined by a Manson Family deserter, who falsly claimed Charles Manson to have killed someone on camera. These claims were later disproved however, and the history of “Snuff” starts with a super-low-budget movie filmed in 1971, originally titled “Slaughter”. I won’t go into great details about what it’s about, but suffice to say that it’s very, very bad, and not in a “so-bad-it’s-good” way either. It’s actually terribly boring, and almost difficult to stay awake to. It’s so bad in fact, that no production company would release it. So it lay on a shelf for five years, until a small-time producer named Allan Shackleton stumbled upon it, and came up with an ingenious scheme to make some easy money with minimal effort. He added one final scene to the movie. And what a scene it was.

Just as the movie ended with a young couple making love on a bed, this new scene continued, by pulling the camera back and going through the fourth wall. The fake set is shown as well as the light fixtures, the whole film crew standing next to the bed, and thus the illusion breaks, and reality is ascertained. Only the young couple’s excitement does not end. They continue to caress and to kiss, passionately thrusting and panting as the camera rolls on.

Then it gets violent. The man starts beating up the young woman, abusing and insulting her, ever more intensely; and it goes on. The torture keeps escalating, until finally the protagonist pulls out a knife, opens up his partner’s belly, pulls out her intestines and stands screaming while he hold it up in the air in front of him. One of the camera crew says that they should get out of there, and the screen goes black. The End.

Of course this was all made in a terrible low-fi fashion. The couple on the bed are suddenly different actors and the set looks different. The special gore effects are really lousy, and the whole final scene looks absolutely nothing like the rest of the film. But that didn’t matter, for Mr. Shackleton’s real genius was in the marketing.

He got the finished film set to play at several grindhouse cinemas (remember this was long before the days of video and dvds) and hired small crowds of homeless people to stand outside and protest the movie. Word spread fast and it wasn’t long before the feminist group Women Against Pornography joined in, and thus gave the movie much publicity on various news channels, CBS News being the most prominent. People were outraged. They argued and complained, cried and shouted, as they all flocked to see the controversial feature. It was no longer titled “Slaughter” however, for Shackleton had given it a new name. Now the letters on the theatre billboard spelled “Snuff”.

Back to Jimmy. Before DVDs had become the set standard for all recorded entertainment, and Internet-shops were still few and far between, most horror movie aficionados got hold of rare titles by swapping old and worn VHS tapes. Sometimes however, you could get lucky by rummaging through “treasury chests”, where dirty video shops put all the strange titles that very few people were interested in. It was whilst reading at the back of an oblique cover that I’d picked out of such a chest, that I suddenly noticed this young sap standing just behind me. I jumped of surprise. Jimmy laughed and said: “If you get scared that easily, you better not watch that movie.”

Different sources disagree slightly on what defines an actual snuff film, but most commonly there are three requirements:

1. There has to occur real death on camera.

2. No special effects can be used.

3. The movie has to be made for the purpose of distribution, sexual pleasure and financial gain.

So, although the original 1976 “Snuff” movie is of course not an actual snuff movie at all, it still gave birth to the legend of real snuff movies existing out there somewhere. Yet, if they do, proof of their existence has never been found. Or, to satisfy the conspiracy theorists out there: if any authorities have ever found a real snuff movie, they have never released their findings to the public. They have come close a few times though.

A now defunct document which was previously available on a real crime archive webpage, featured what was supposedly an interview with a rouge FBI agent. He told several tales of how the agency would shroud all evidence of snuff movies with secrecy. There is basically no way of knowing if these claims are true, but this anonymous renegade alleged that all information regarding snuff would be withheld from the public, for safety reasons. The agency believe that if news about an existing snuff film would spread, people would want to see it and a new market would be sparked. The last thing he said in this supposed interview was “Oh yes, they exist. I wish it wasn’t so, but sadly it is”

Jimmy and I got along immediately. As we both had seen a lot of the same films, we had much to talk about. We started hanging out, swapping movies and hunting down rarities together. Back then it was quite a hassle to acquire a lot of what is now internationally recognized as classic splatter cinema. Often we would have to contact private vendors in strange countries, to obtain completely uncut versions of our favourite films. What’s the point of watching a scary movie, if all the scary parts are cut out?

The most famous case of a real snuff movie existing was actually started by Charlie Sheen. Back in the early nineties, Mr. Sheen, a devoted horror movie buff, got a hold of a Japanese film titled “The Flower of Flesh and Blood”.

The movie is the second film in a series called “Guinea Pig”. In the 42-minute feature, you see a man kidnapping a woman from the street. He takes her to some weird chamber and starts torturing her. First he sedates her, then goes on to chopping her to pieces using various hardware tools. As the high dosage of drugs would actually have killed her by slowing her heartbeat to a stop, the horrible torture he inflicts on her body is so extreme that the pain keeps her from relaxing into death by blood-loss. After hacking off all her limbs, cutting open her stomach and taking out her innards and shaking it in the air in front of her, she finally dies. Watching the film, her death comes as quite a relief. But before the movie ends, the strange man pulls out a spoon and scoops out one of the woman’s eyes. The final shot has him sucking on her eyeball, like it was a lollypop.

It should be noted that this was all before the time of DVD’s, and that the quality was quite murky. Tapes like these used to be copied from one VHS to another, only to make a new copy of the copy again. Thus the term “generation”, when talking about these tapes. With each copy, the quality got worse and worse. When I saw “The Flower and Flesh and Blood” back in the nineties, the tape I got was at least a sixth generation copy. The picture was very obscure, and at some points it was difficult to make out what was going on. This also served to delude the details, and thus making the experience all the scarier.

When Mr. Sheen saw the same film, he sent the tape over to the FBI, convinced that what he had seen was an actual murder on film. The bureau promptly started wasting taxpayers’ money on an investigation.

For it is all fake. The American importer of the film, Charles Balun, knew it was a fake, and could easily have proved it to the authorities, yet nobody asked him about it, and the FBI never even learned his name. In Japan the movie was a smash hit, out-grossing all big budget movies from Hollywood, and giving cause for seven sequels to be made. After all the controversy around this film, the makers finally released a “Making Of” documentary, where you can see how they created it. You can see that it is all done by special effects, and actually looks quite fake by today’s standard. Most of it is extreme close ups of latex dolls, cleverly edited to make it appear like it is the woman’s real limbs. There are shots where you see the victim smiling and laughing as they apply her make-up, and play around with the fake intestines.

Long after the making-of film was released and a lot of people in the horror community had long since seen it, the FBI finally got a hold of it and immediately dropped all investigations.

I watched “The Flower of Flesh and Blood” again a few years back, when it was released on DVD. However, seeing it afresh in crystal clear quality was a much softer experience. The fakery was easy to spot within the clear and crispy images, and the fact that it actually had subtitles just made it a bit silly.

I had known Jimmy for more than a year, when he one day came to me with an exited smile on his face. I asked him what was up, and he replied by pulling out a black, unmarked tape from his bag. But he wouldn’t let me have it. First I had to promise that I would not let anyone know where I had gotten it from, if I should happen to get caught with it.

There are several “shocumentaries” about killing and death circulating horror movie circuits, like the legendary “Cannibal Holocaust”. In this 1980 film, a group of filmmakers venture out into the Amazonian jungle to hopefully capture footage of a tribe of real cannibals, only to be captured and eaten by said savages themselves. It is all filmed with somewhat shaky handheld cameras, and the full movie was presented as the last hours of the lives of an actual film crew. The same promotional idea was later used for the movie “Blair Witch Project” to equal success.

Ruggero Deodato, the director of Cannibal Holocaust had made a contract with his actors, stating that they would hide, and not show themselves to the public for at least a year. But his plan worked a little too well. He was arrested not long after the movie’s release, and forced to go to court and prove that the actors were not dead. They were of course still very much alive, yet there were also a numerable amount of animals slaughtered in his movie, all of which were real. So Mr. Deodato had to pay a rather small fine of $10.000 for the animal cruelty depicted in his film, but as the movie went on to make more money than “E.T.”, which came out at approximately the same time, this was just pocket change.

Even holding Jimmy’s tape in my hands sent shivers down my spine. He was, and still is, one of the greatest experts on horror movies I have ever known. Whenever we watched a movie together, we made it a sport to spot the fakery, and first figure out the mechanics behind any blood splattered scene. We watched countless documentaries about special effects and make-up, and dabbled with making a few shorts ourselves. That’s a fake knife. That’s animatronics. That arm is made of latex. There was a cut in the sequence, which would enable the filmmakers to exchange the actor with a doll. The blood is too bright red, runs to fast or doesn’t coagulate. The intestines are in the wrong colors…

We knew all the tricks. Figuring out how anything was made was our way of dealing with it. Nothing is scary, when you understand it’s not real.

Another famous example is the “Faces of Death” series. These films follow a more conventional form of documentary, where the subject is simply death, in all shapes and sizes. Yet again, as terrible (or amusing) as these movies may be, they are still all forgery. They did however spawn another spin off series called “Traces of Death” where you do in fact get to see a lot of real murder and mayhem. Alas, it’s all stock footage. You will see people get killed, commit suicide, both living and dead bodies get cut open, as well as living animals butchered. Still these are not snuff movies, as the footage you see has not been made specifically for that movie. It is very real stuff, but as it is all old clippings of different surgery tapes, leftovers from news reports and such, it cannot be categorized as snuff.

It is not difficult to find videos of people getting killed on the Internet. The videos of Iraqi fundamentalists using a machete to cut off heads of coalition force prisoners, have gotten quite well known, and are very easy to find. A Google-search for the words “Solider” and “cut off head with machete” should provide links to videos pretty easily, and it is very real. But it is still not snuff, as it has not been made for sexual pleasure.

I put Jimmy’s tape in the VCR, and pushed play. White snow flimmered onto the screen, but gradually straightened into a black broadcast. Then came a mix of uneasy sound effects. Nails scratching on a blackboard and cats fighting, accompanied by daunting jazz music cranking out of the speakers. The screen went red and a title came onto the screen. “Broken”.

The case of Tsutomu Miyazaki, or the “Guinea Pig copycat killer”, has achieved infamous status on its own appeal to serial killer stardom. I barely strafed the Guinea Pig series already, but suffice to say that they are a bunch of films with very little plot, and very much gore. Now, a Japanese horror film collector named Tsutomu Miyazaki saw these films, and was by then well on his way to insanity. He wanted to make his own films, and started to recreate some of the things he’d seen, without the luxury of special effects. He did it for real.

When he was eventually caught, a massive collection of horror movies was found in his apartment. Amongst them a bunch of private films, where he had filmed himself slaughtering several young women. But again, even though the films he had made were quite real, he had made them only for his own warped pleasure, and never meant to sell them. Thus they were still not snuff. There exist no accounts of eyewitnesses who have actually seen any of these films.

At first I was disappointed. Everybody knows snuff movies don’t have titles, and of course, “Broken” was not even pseudo-snuff. I would have heard about it if it was. Instead an obnoxious mix of bad taste and pornography blasted across the screen. Luckily it was quite short, and after about ten minutes came another short: “The Big Shave”. This one I had heard about, and although it was the legendary first short from famed director Martin Scorsese, and quite a good little film, it was still not in the right genre, and continued to whimper my enthusiasm.

Mr. Miyazaki’s example is not unique. There have been several cases of this happening, all over the world. In England there was the infamous West family, where Fred, the man of the house, would torture, kill and bury young girls under their patio, with the help of his loving wife. He filmed some of it, but never sold the tapes. A woman who worked in a local video shop once said in a BBC interview that Fred West had approached her and asked if they had any snuff movies. She had replied that yes, in fact they had the 1976 movie titled “Snuff”. Fred was not satisfied with this and told her that he meant the real thing. He had it back home. Real snuff movies where people got killed. Would she perhaps like to buy some?

As he made an attempt to gain commercially from this, it might be the only official record of snuff movies ever existing. But yet again, no one has ever admitted to seeing these films, and the police will show no records of finding them when the house was finally raided. They did however find several corpses buried all around their yard.

There was also the case of the “St. Louis Killer” in America, where a maniac filmed several of his victims as he killed them. When he was caught and his apartment was to be knocked down (as is the custom when serial killers are finally caught) they found several videos hidden inside a wall. ABCNews used to have some of this footage available for online viewing on their webpage, but it has now been removed.

After a few more really weird and bizarre short films on Jimmy’s tape, the show got rolling. The screen suddenly got all red and a blurry text came up saying “Sexual Perversion tape 1: Rip and Pierce”.

Well known horror movie affectionate Al Goldstein (publisher of the pornographic magazine Screw) has had a standing one million dollar offer since the seventies, to anyone who will provide an actual snuff movie. Some people argue that the fact that no one has ever made claim to this money is proof enough that they do not exist. But then again, several police officers investigating alleged snuff movies, has said that if they ever came over an actual snuff film, they would confiscate it right away.

What followed was a video of someone walking along the street, stalking a woman. The girl was assaulted and struck down, making her fall unconscious. In the next scene she was seen tied up and screaming in some dirty basement. A guy with a henchman’s mask entered the screen and started torturing her. He did just what the title of the movie said. Ripped and pierced. After about 10 minutes of torture, she was bleeding all over, and stood balancing on her toes to stay alive. A line had been tied around her neck, so tight that if she would relax just a bit, she would die of strangulation. Then, just as he was about to take her life, the film ended.

I could feel my pulse pounding all over my body. Feeling sick and dizzy, I pushed the stop button and sat in silence for a while. Then I pushed play again.

A lot of sick stuff can be found on the Asian black market. There are rumours of a tape circulating, where you can see a small group of men rape, torture and kill infants. They supposedly drill holes in the carcasses, and stick their erect penises into the holes. Still, eyewitness accounts of these tapes are always told on behalf of a friend’s friend’s cousin, or something to that effect.

Snuff movies are made by order. They do not have any titles, and you will not find any info on specific films on the internet. There is a huge interest in snuff movies, and if word gets spread around too much, it would generate attention from unwanted channels. A Russian webpage called Candyland advertised their services of genuine snuff films, if you paid a sizable price and got a password to log in. The site was run by thirty year old, retired car mechanic Dmitri Vladimirovich Kuznetsov. He had several kids locked up, and did every horrible thing imaginable to them, in order to make money off the videos.

The site had many customers, and Italian police seized more than three thousand films on their way to Italian clients. One policeman even admitted to seeing children dying after repeated abuse on one of the videos, yet his statement was withdrawn shortly thereafter. The official report still claims that none of the more than a hundred children kept in captivity were killed on tape. The recent publication of a transcript from Kuznestov’s email in an Italian newspaper, claim otherwise:

Promise me you're not ripping me off,' says the Italian.

'Relax, I can assure you this one really dies,' the Russian responds.

'The last time I paid and I didn't get what I wanted.'

'What do you want?'

'To see them die.'

Then came another short. This time the title was “Sexual Perversion tape 2: Burn and Cut”. A dildo with protruding nails, like a flanged mace from the middle ages, was used on some bound up woman. It looked most real. If any of the usual tricks were used, they were at least not visible. It was all done in one continuous shot, giving no room to swap the victim’s body with fake prosthetics.

Once you set out to watch a genuine snuff movie, your life changes. The paths you have to go to get hold of it, the people you have to seek out, the locations all server to dim the borders between illusion and realism, till you get to the point where it’s difficult to discern between the two. An American series called “Masters of Horror” beautifully illustrated this in the episode directed by John Carpenter, called “Cigarette Burns”. It tells the story of a movie that will make people go crazy by watching it. It is meant to be just another piece of fiction, yet there’s a lot to be learnt from it.

I have come to know where I can order somebody’s death. The prices vary, but you can usually get a clean hit for less than ten thousand NOK. A few of the people who will do these jobs, work as bouncers to have a legitimate source of income. Most of them also work as debt collectors, and in that business they learn a good many ways to inflict insufferable pain.

Several of these “Sexual Perversion tapes” followed. All of them had different sub titles, and different women as victims. All of them were terribly realistic, yet made in an obviously cheap fashion. I doubt that the makers could afford the rather tedious job of making fake gore look that realistic. Yet all of them ended at the same note, just seconds before you’d have thought the woman to finally die.

There are many excuses as to why anyone would want to watch a snuff film, the most common being twisted curiosity. The traffic-accident-metaphor is quite cliché: you don’t want to watch, but you can’t look away.

The reason to why we watch horror movies is that we want to be scared. How far can you go? Is there anything even more horrifying? Like the tantalizing twists of a rollercoaster ride, you will stand in line for ages to experience true terror. Then, once buckled up in the relative safety of your chair, you will scream and regret ever going on the ride, only to run to the end of the line and do it all over again once it’s finally finished.

But after watching a lot of really twisted stuff, or riding a theme park ride too many times, anyone will go numb. You want something more. Something so horrible that even you can’t handle it. You yearn to experience dread once again. To feel something real.

Chuck Palahniuk described it best in his novel “Diary”, when he wrote: “Sometimes the worst is the best, if you get far enough down.”

After five or six of these short films, the tape came to an end. The show was over, and I could still not boast to have seen a real snuff movie. But I had had enough.

I gave the tape back to Jimmy a few days later, and we stopped hanging out after that. I stopped obsessing about horror movies, and these days I much rather enjoy a good drama, or comedy.

Still, I must admit I can’t stand a happy ending.

It has later been speculated that the baby was in fact assembled by the body of a duck, and the head of a doll, although this has never been proven.

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Some sources:

http://www.planetpapers.com/Assets/2136.php

http://www.lukeisback.com/essays/essays/snuff.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinea_Pig_(movies)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsutomu_Miyazaki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snuff_film

http://www.guineapigfilms.com/History.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2000/oct/01/ameliagentleman.philipwillan

Other good feature films to check out are:

- “Tesis” a great gem of a movie, concerning a fictional snuff movie production crew.

- “Cure” by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. A hypnotic film, which will make you afraid of your own willingness to watch it to the end.

- “Mute Witness” actually a poor movie, but still deals with the topic of snuff.

- “August Underground” series. I did not like these films. They were quite annoying, in my opinion. But if you want a rough idea of how all these authentic video tapes made by serial killers might look like, you can take a look at these. There are loads more movies like this, especially from Asia.

- “The Hostel” by Eli Roth. A movie about a place where one can go and pay a large amount of money to be able to butcher innocent backpackers. I didn’t like the film very much, but it suggests a possible way these things might go down.

Copyright Tiger Blam

Duel (1971)

2011-03-23T14:24:00.003+01:00

Steven Spielberg ain't exactly the coolest kid on the block no more. Indiana Jones 4 and his remake of War of the Worlds were terrible, terrible, terrible movies.

Yuck.

But the guy has made some amazing films in his lifetime. So lets go back to the very beginning, and take a look at the first feature he ever did, when he was still a young and promising director, showing so much potential.

Duel is one bad-ass film! And it's such a simple premise: A guy overtakes a truck.

And that's it! No aliens or treasure hunters or dinosaurs.

Just a guy driving a car, past a truck.

To take a such simple idea and turn it into an engrossing 90 minute on-the-edge-of-your-seat story, is testament to his greatness, and pretty much explains how he got to where he is today.

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Azumi (2003)

2011-03-16T23:21:00.000+01:00

What is better than a big muscular guy swinging a sword and killing people left and right?

A little girl doing the same thing.

Azumi is about as cool as a samurai film can get. The fact that it was directed by Ryûhei Kitamura, who also brought you Versus (you DID see that, right?) should give you a good idea of how over the top this movie is. It just builds and builds and gives you very few seconds to catch your breath, in between all the glorious brutalities.

And for once, there's actually a decent story attached to all the violence as well.

Stylized like a cutscene from a Final Fantasy game, the proportionally low budget film, looks slicker than any Hollywood blockbuster.

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Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)

2011-03-05T16:56:00.000+01:00

Here's another dream movie, which doesn't get close to the attention it deserve. It's directed by none other than master surrealist Luis Buñuel himself, and indeed many consider it his best movie.

As usual with this logic-lacking genre, it's difficult to say what the film is actually about: An upper class family tries to have dinner, but is constantly interrupted by one absurdity after the other... and that's about it. How and why anything happens, is really one joke after the other.

But it's not all tomfoolery. The approximately 100 minute running length is filled with social satire, performed with such poetic perfection, it has been compared to Shakespeare.

The whole affair is rather quirky, and the slow and subtle tone throughout will undoubtedly dissuade many. But if you're tired of the disgustathon slapstick infestation that roams the world of comedies these days, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie will be one piece of intelligent humor you won't want to miss.

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The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow (2008)

2011-02-28T20:23:00.001+01:00

Readers of this blog might have noticed that I am a big fan of minimalistic filmmaking. I have tremendous respect for those who seek to create much out of little, and purposely limit their resources. Films like Cube, Death and the Maiden, and 3-Iron are examples of how filmmakers have managed to tell amazing stories with very few actors, little action and very litte, if any, dialogue.

But in The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow, director Rodrigo Gudiño has taken it to the next level, by basically removing all movement, and reducing his film to a still photograph. It features no dialogue and lasts for about 5 minutes.

Now you might think that staring at the same photograph for that time will quickly get boring, but that's where the director's ingenuity comes to show. The film keeps you on edge every second and will even make you want to watch it again and again.

Inspired by the photo analysis machine in Blade Runner, the camera floats around the photograph, constantly revealing new details that hints at a sinister story behind the picture, but leaves it up to you to draw the final conclusion about what the film is about.

The brilliant soundtrack doesn't hurt either.

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Cashback (2004) & (2006)

2011-02-27T19:26:00.003+01:00

Tits, ass, boobs..

eh, sorry.

Cashback is a very well made film about tits, or working at a grocery store, or freezing time. It is very well shot, acted and written, but the fact of the matter is that it features so much splendid nudity, that the first thing that springs to mind is not exactly the camera angles. There so many tits in the short film, that some ignorant feminists even call it porn. However, whether you're a man or woman, you'll have a difficult time denying that the it does look astounding.

It even received an Oscar nomination for best short, and won a bunch of other awards, testamenting its greatness. This also enabled director Sean Ellis to extend the idea into a full feature.

Now, the feature is of course an expansion of the idea, and contains just about the whole short film within its playtime. There's a bunch of new scenes, some of which are very nice and some which are rather unnecessary, but although the longer version is also an enjoyable experience, it loses the snappiness of the short film.

Still, the short film is so good, that you will undoubtedly hunger for more of the same, so here are both for your viewing pleasure.

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Batman: Dead End (2003)

2011-02-13T01:58:00.003+01:00

Whoever will be the villain in Christopher Nolan's last Batman film, seems to be a hot topic in movie magazines across the globe. Nolan is of course celebrated as the director who brought the Batman franchise back to life, with his attempts at making the legend a believable character. Granted, the last big budget films to feature the dark knight before Nolan came along were pretty horrific, but there is another Batman film which also did a pretty decent attempt, yet is constantly overlooked.

And while speculations run wild about whoever will be the villain in the last Nolan film, the villains of Batman: Dead End are by far more surprising than any suggestion in magazines.

Don't read any more about this film, and do not watch any trailers. There are spoilers EVERYWHERE!

You'll never see it coming...

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Festen (1998)

2011-01-22T17:51:00.000+01:00

Those Danes... MAN are they awesome filmmakers!

Festen was the very first of the Doge 95 movies, and after watching it, you'll understand that the movement caught on and spawned more than 250 other movies.

It's 100% brilliant filmmaking all the way through.

I wouldn't label it as mindfuck, but it's definitely a movie that'll pack the greatest punch if you have no preconceptions about what you're about to watch.

Still, if you've never watched a Dogme film before: the shaky hand-held camera, the lack of make-up, the raw images that come from not using any filters or special lightning, the unexceptional story-lines that doesn't contain any action scenes... it will take a bit getting used to.

Because Festen is drama, pure drama, and nothing but drama. It's about as good as a drama film can get.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll kiss all admiration for Hollywood goodbye.

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Maléfique (2002)

2011-01-21T19:47:00.001+01:00

If Jean-Pierre Jeunet was to make a horror movie, there would be Malefique.

So what does that mean?

Well, Malefique has an ensemble of oddball characters, each of who has a special skill of sorts. The story is quite quirky and it's set in what might be the past, but feels like the present. The colors are very warm and sepia-like, and it's not scary in the least.

Even though the whole film plays out inside a prison cell, calling it a prison movie is stretching it. Calling it a magical adventure doesn't quite fit either, even though it is basically about magic. And labeling it as comedy does not feel right, even though it has some hilarious moments of twisted humor.

So let's just say it's an adult fairytale, about what would happen if the only thing you have to read in prison, is the Necronomicon.

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The Party (1968)

2011-01-17T11:46:00.003+01:00

The Party is one of those films that was once at the top of anyone's "best comedies ever!!!!!" lists, but have since been forgotten and lost in a sea of mediocrity.

If more people would see it today, there would be a greater agreement about the crappiness of films like Anchorman, Hangover, Meet the Fockers, Dinner for Schmucks, Get Him to the Greek, and all the other almost-funny-but-not-quite comedies that are lodged in so many current lists as these.

Part of what makes The Party so good is that it appears not to try that hard. It doesn't go for cheap laughs from the first second, and don't mess around with gross-out humor. In fact, the first half hour or so is not funny at all, and after a while you'll probably start thinking bad things about me, for recommending this film. But then... slowly but surely, the insanity mounds.

Peter Sellers does what he does better than anybody else, in making a goofy character seem real and believable while balancing it just at the top of your funny bone, without taking it too far.

If you still need more convincing before you check it out, know that the Danish translated the title into "Wash my Elephant!" Who wouldn't want to see that?

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Heavy Traffic (1973)

2011-01-12T10:38:00.001+01:00

If you saw Fritz the Cat, then you're probably searching for more of the same. Don't bother with the sequel though, check out Heavy Traffic instead.

It's not the same characters, and in no way connected to the life of Fritz, but it is by the same director and thus in the same style.

Pimps and hoes, limbless hobos and day drifting street people float around in gritty city, chasing highs and playing pinball.

The film is very raw and real, and director Ralph Bakshi's exploration of mixing cartoons and live action film, is much better than his later attempt with Cool World, and the adult approach to the medium gives a film that might even rival Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

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Jack Frost (1997)

2011-01-09T17:11:00.000+01:00

Happy new year!

It's snowing!

So naturally somebody had to make a movie about a mutant killer snowman.

Isn't that just great?

This film is so silly, it's virtually impossible not to dig it. It's what Child's Play should have been, full of cheesy one-liners, gratuitous nudity and cold violence.

So come along, and play in the snow!

(Stay away from the cash-in sequel though)

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Rings (2005)

2010-12-30T12:21:00.000+01:00

Naturally you've seen Ringu. Everybody has.

Stop there.

Don't bother with the Korean or American remake, the spin-off series or any of the sequels or prequels. They're all crap.

All except this 16 minute reboot, of sorts.

Instead of trying to retell the same story yet again, Rings expands on the idea in a very simple way: by multiplication.

Despite its short running length, the film is very effective and manages to conjure up some interesting new images.

Even though this was made as a sort of segway from the first to the second American film, you really don't need to bother with any of them. Just see it as a fun and interesting addition to the original idea of Ringu

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The Green Butchers (2003)

2010-12-29T12:22:00.001+01:00

There's no denying cannibalism is great fun!

Films like Braindead, The Cook and his Posse, Eating Raoul and Delicatessen are cherished gems that have entertained countless film fanatics for years and years.

The Danes eventually caught up with this trend and thought they'd give it a spin themselves.

With Danish films being of such high standard, it was no surprise that they produced on of the funniest cannibal films to date.

Mads Mikkelsen (from the second Pusher film) is marvelous as the super nervous weirdo, who likes to deconstruct his problems into tiny pieces before devouring them, and Nikolaj Lie Kaas (from In China They Eat Dogs) just manages to keep the film somewhat grounded in reality, with his somber stare.

All in all a great film to watch in the holiday period, as you're stuffing yourself with holiday meat.

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The Dead Zone (1983)

2010-12-28T12:28:00.001+01:00

Based on a book by Stephen King, directed by David Cronenberg, starring Christopher Walken and Martin Sheen.

That's four good reasons to watch the film, right there.

The fact that they were all at the top of their careers at the time it was made, is the fifth.

I've just given you five great reasons to watch The Dead Zone. If that's not enough, then I'm not gonna bother you with it any more.

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Lord of Illusions (1995)

2010-12-27T12:25:00.003+01:00

Clive Barker is a name that lives in the heart of any horror aficionado.

Hellraiser and Candyman are such milestones in the history of horror, they've stood against the test of time, and still reign at the very top of the genre, together with a few select others.

Yet, after more than 26 years of producing invigorous stories that bends creativity into unheard of dimensions of the imagination, mr. Barker's best creations is still his debut collections of short stories, The Books of Blood. It is in these books that Candyman was originally conjured up, along with Dread, The Midnight Meat Train and Rawhead Rex, to name a few.

It is also from this same collection that Lord of Illusions came, yet for some reason it is one of the most over-looked Barker films.

Many people complain about the rather sub par CGI that's included in a short scene, but common... this was 1995!

The rest of the film more than makes up for that one slightly silly scene. The story is outstanding as ever, and Scott Bakula is perfectly cast as the run down private investigator of the supernatural. Parts of the soundtrack are so good I've used it for some of my own hobby-productions, and the whole movie is one big climax of awesome scenes.

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Two Hands (1999)

2010-12-26T12:27:00.000+01:00

A bit of an Ozzie gem this one. Heath Ledger shines in one of his early roles, as the shy-boy underdog who has to fight his way out of the gutter.

Bryan Brown is equally iridescent, though the bulb behind his shadow casts more darkness than light, morphing his character into a charming devil.

These two prophets of light and darkness, each lead their unwilling bands of bewildered souls into a jumble of tomfoolery.

It's not a war or fighting film though. More of a situational-crime-comedy along the lines of Trainspotting and Man about Dog + a handful of supernatural undertones.

Especially recommended for anyone who's ever been to Sydney.

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Warlock (1989)

2010-12-25T12:23:00.000+01:00

Did you know that milk turning sour is a sign that there's a witch nearby? Or that slicing the fat off a little boy's body can make you fly?

If the answer to any of those is no, then you need to see this film.

It's a sort of Terminator spin-off, where instead of a cyborg from the future, the badguy is a witch from the past.

You might say that Julian Sands never hit it bigtime, but he's been in more than his share of cult classics with a sizable fanbase all around the world, and Warlock is probably his magnum opus.

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Blueberry (2004)

2010-12-24T12:23:00.002+01:00

Have you heard of Ayahuasca?

If you haven't, then you'll probably think this film is a jumbled mess and might as well skip it. I've tried showing it to people several times before, and only the ones with some understanding of the substance, enjoy the film.

It is a western, yes, but not in the traditional form. Even though many of the classical western elements are there (the revolvers, the little town with one saloon, the rich ranch owner, his pretty daughter, the evil badguy, the sheriff, the prostitutes, the lone ranger who saves the day, etc) it's actually more of an existential study, set on a western backdrop.

Having more in common with Altered States than The Good the Bad and the Ugly, the film breaks new ground with its attempt of depicting what happens inside our souls.

Director Jan Kounen of Dobermann fame, pulls Vincent Cassel back out of his sleeve and pitches him against the great Michael Madsen.

The result is mind revealing.

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Most of the movie is in English, but there are some parts which are in some strange Native American tongue. Included here are specialized subtitles, which only have text for the non-English parts, and don't distract your view from the rest of the film.
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The Beyond (1981)

2010-12-23T12:25:00.002+01:00

Italian horror is a genre that requires a big heart in the chest of its audience.

The stories are often laughable, the effects amateurish, the characters usually share a single dimension amongst themselves and are all sloppily dubbed. Don't even bother searching for reason, logic or explanation to nonsensical endings.

It's all very silly, really.

But, when it comes to flesh eating zombies, skin etching scenes and eye piercing images of gore, backed by outstanding soundtracks; the genre stands unrivaled.

Lucio Fulchi was one of the generals of Italian splatter cinema, and The Beyond is his masterpiece.

Leave your brain at the door when watching this film, or else the zombies will eat you alive.

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The Five Obstructions (2003)

2010-12-22T12:27:00.005+01:00

The Five Obstructions is a two-man circle-jerk.

Lars von Trier challenges his teacher and greatest idol Jørgen Leth, to remake what Lars considers to be the greatest movie of all time, The Perfect Human (also by Jørgen Leth.)

As with everything from von Trier (even down to the "von" added to his name) The Five Obstructions is a very pretentious ordeal.

Two pioneering film makers sit around discussing how awesome they are, and challenge each other to run laps around the block, making the same short film 5 times.

With each lap, a new obstruction is put forth, forcing creativity to emerge.

The Five Obstructions is not so much a feature film, as a series of experiments with the film format, and the outcome is something only true film connoisseurs will enjoy.

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House II: The Second Story (1987)

2010-12-21T12:29:00.000+01:00

Contrary to what the poster will have you believe, this is not a horror film. It's not a thriller either.

It's a family film.

I'm not kidding.

House 2 is nothing but good old adventure fun, that will have people of all ages laugh and shake their heads, but never shiver. Think Indiana Jones on a smaller budget, inside a house.

So leave your brain at the door, and step inside, for a stupid, fun and safe roller coaster ride.

(No, you do not need to see the first one.)

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Paris, je t'aime (2006)

2010-12-20T12:28:00.001+01:00

This is any movie buff's wet dream.

Gus Van Sant, Tom Tykwer, Vincenzo Natali, Gérard Depardieu, Wes Craven, The Cohen Brothers, Sylvain Chomet, and a handful of other directors all got together and were told to make their own short movie.

They only had two restrictions:
1. It had to be a love story
2. And had to be set in Paris

The result is a magnificent mush of wonderful films, that brush shoulders as one captivating soul gives room for the next one to bloom, in the metropolitan canvas of Paris.

While some stories are better than others, the general standard is still at such a high level, it will make most other films blush.

A good film to watch alone, but a perfect film to watch with someone special.

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Ted Bundy (2002)

2010-12-19T12:22:00.002+01:00

"The Boogie Nights of serial killer flicks" said the promotion for this film when it first came, and rightly so. Mr. Bundy runs across the screen slashing women to bits during most of the movie, while groovy music makes your foot stomp the beat.

This is a serial killer film that makes you feel good.

It roughly follows the true life of one of history's most notorious serial killers, and even though his actions are horrific enough, the true scare factor comes from the fact that the film wants you to cheer for the monster. Bundy is not portrayed as someone who must be stopped. He is the misunderstood hero.

While some even go to the lengths of calling it a black comedy, the weird thing is that Ted Bundy was considered a hero in real life too. After killing what is believed to be several hundred women and finally being caught and confined to death row, he received dozens of love letters from women all over America, and even had regular conjugal visits, from girls he'd never seen before.

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The Believers (1987)

2010-12-18T12:22:00.001+01:00

If you love Angel Heart (and who doesn't?) you'll certainly enjoy this as well.

While The Believers may not be as perfectly stylized as Angel Heart, there's plenty more Voodoo/Hoodoo/Santeria/Brujeria (or magic if you will) to go around.

Martin Sheen is as always a high quality performer, and Jimmy Smits keeps bringing a smile to my face, but Malick Bowens' bottomless eyes are nothing short of amazing, and his quiet character is the real star of the film, rivaling Tony Todd's performance in Candyman.

Other highlights in the film is a very rare instance of seeing someone being killed by milk (yes, that's right) while someone discovers bugs crawling out of their skin!

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Vincent (1982)

2010-12-17T12:22:00.003+01:00

Today Tim Burton is one of the biggest names in Hollywood. The man does mega-multi-billion-trillion-dollar-budget pictures for the biggest studios, and his movies are seen by three times more people than there are in the world.

But it wasn't always like this.

It used to be he worked as an animator for Disney, and would sneak around the studios at night, conjuring up little projects of his own.

Vincent is one of these early projects, and it gleams with ingenuity.

Made as a tribute to the great Vincent Price (who had been in more than 150 movies since the 30s) Price himself felt so honored when he heard about the project, he agreed to do voice acting in it, which is quite impressive when you take into account that Burton basically was a big nobody at the time.

It's only six minutes long, but there's not one boring second.

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The Man From Earth (2007)

2010-12-16T12:22:00.000+01:00

There's just one set in The Man From Earth: an old cabin. But it's not a scary "out in the woods" horror movie, so that doesn't really help the film. The actors are pretty much half-decent, but no one really stands out. Not even Tony Todd! The cinematography is nothing special, and these things all point toward the overall directing being far below mentionable.

There's almost nothing remarkable about Man from Earth at all.

Except a brilliant script.

All the film fiends out there who's fed up with Hollywood spending insane amounts on special effects, well known actors, amazing sets, etc, while seemingly not caring one bit about the actual script: This is what you want! It's the total opposite of any recent blockbuster.

This is all about the idea.

Of course the film went by pretty much unnoticed and made just about nill at the box office. But then, somebody put the film online for illegal downloading. Somebody else downloaded it, liked it and told more people to check it out. The rumor spread and soon there was a flood of people who wanted to buy the DVD after having seen or heard about it from "internet pirates".

When the film-makers discovered the source of the sudden renewed interest in their film, they sent a letter to the pirates, thanking them for making their movie available to the masses.

This all shows how the RIAA and MPA's claims that they are loosing billions because of file sharing is utter bullshit, and they should in fact be arrested themselves for the suffering they have brought upon the masses with their insane witch hunts.

The Man from Earth showed they way. I only hope more will follow in his footsteps.

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The Ladykillers (1955)

2010-12-15T12:38:00.002+01:00

Comedy is a very under-appreciated genre, as making something funny on film takes a whole lot more than simply writing a joke. You need good jokes, sure, but you're also totally dependent on good actors with complete control over every muscle in their face and a perfect sense of timing, which require tons of rehearsals and re-shoots, and it all takes so long to set up and film and film again, that when you've finally got a shot you're happy with, you've seen it so many times that the spontaneity and surprise element is way gone and you're not even sure if it's actually funny at all.

When you're making a black comedy, it gets even more difficult, as you have to constantly balance on the edge of what is funny and what is just vulgar.

The atrocious remake the Cohen brothers did of this classic, illustrates perfectly how incredibly lame and unfunny a film can be, if not all the elements are there.

But in the original, the film-makers gets everything just right, and seeing five men plotting to kill a sweet old lady, will have tears of laughter roll down your face.

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Killing Time (1995)

2010-12-14T11:56:00.003+01:00

This is a Quality Cult Cinema exclusive release of an ultra rare short movie. You will not find this film any other place on the interweb (I've searched).

It was once released on VHS as the third film on a tape labeled Stephen King's Nightshift Collection, even though Killing Time was based on a story by Dennis Etchison, not King. The first two films on the tape, were quite bad no-budget productions of a couple of Stephen King stories, but as Killing Time apparently has nothing to do with King at all, it was only included on very few tapes, before someone decided to remove it from further releases of the also somewhat obscure tape.

That's why the hard-coded Norwegian subtitles are there, as it's never been released on DVD, and I've been unable to track down any other version than this. I've even tried to contact Dennis Etchison himself, as he also plays a short cameo in the film, and hopefully has some more information about it, but it turns out he's turned into somewhat of a recluse and is "a bit wary of the Internet" according to his editor.

And all the mystery surrounding the film is very strange, considering the top notch quality of film making throughout the mere 26 minutes it lasts. There's talent practically bursting out of every pore, from the story it was based upon, to the direction, cinematography, soundtrack, eerie atmosphere and great comic book artwork which intertwines the scenes all the way to the low-key ending which somehow still packs a punch.

The acting is also ace, featuring a performance by Eric Stoltz. To think that he did this tiny film, after he'd starred in Pulp Fiction, tells me it must have been a favor to a friend or something.

If I was to compare Killing Time to anything, it would have to be cultastic mega-hit They Live, and I've always found it strange that Killing Time was never expanded into a full feature, as there's tons of material there to expand upon.

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If you are in any way connected to the making of this film and do not wish it to be here, please let me know, and I'll remove it pronto.

The Stuff (1985)

2010-12-10T12:28:00.001+01:00

So you loved both Blob movies, and are looking for more of the same stuff? Well here it is!

The Stuff! (which is basically the same stuff as The Blob, but comes in different colors.)

With a title like "The Stuff" you know you shouldn't be expecting much in the form of a story, but still, you won't be bored for a second. The Stuff won't let you.

The film is stuffed with faces you've seen before in all kinds of weird-ass 80s movies, but don't remember the names of. Most importantly though, it was written and directed by Larry Cohen, and as always, his name on the poster is a sure sign of atmospheric grittiness, wonderful pacing and pure entertainment.

This is another beer drinking movie, but I would also recommend you make some popcorn before pushing play, so that you have something to stuff that big mouth with, while you're watching this stuff.

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Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

2010-12-09T23:20:00.000+01:00

Hell is not a place.

It's the name of the only man on a post-apocalyptic planet, that's got some juice left in his family jewels. And when World War 3 grinds to a halt as there's no one left to keep the fight going, Hell's sperm becomes a hot commodity in the production of new soldiers.

All women want to have Hell inside.

But to make things even cooler, Hell goes to Frogtown.

That's right, a town inhabited only by mutant frog-people, who have three penises each which they call "The three headed snake", resulting in a movie that is all kinds of awesome!

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The Emerald Forest (1985)

2010-12-07T19:22:00.003+01:00

In 1961, a young boy out on a picnic with his family in the jungle, got kidnapped by a tribe of Indians. His father spent 11 years searching, before finding him again, only to be told by his grown up son that he would not leave his tribe.

This is the true story that inspired the Emerald Forest; a magnificent tale of wilderness in nature, as within men.

Powers Boothe, who had experience from trekking through thick undergrowth and swamps in Southern Comfort, delivers a solid performance as always, but instead of the gray-brown somberness of Southern Comfort, the Emerald Forest is a very lush and green movie, where the jungle really is the main character, as the title implies.

Having seen the film many times, I always felt scenes where natives experience drug-induced astral projection and are able to talk to animals, to be the true core of the film, symbolizing the tribes-people's connection with nature, which civilized industrialism has all but forgotten.

Reading up on the film a bit again now, I found that it is also apparently considered to be a classic gay film, on account of there being several scenes of bare-butt Indian boys, running around in the jungle. Though I highly doubt this was the director's intention when he made the film (there's also an abundance of more or less naked women throughout the movie) I find it an amusing example of how different people will interpret the same film, in totally different ways

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Brother (2000)

2010-12-07T00:58:00.001+01:00

In Japan, members of a Yakuza family is just that: family. The godfather of the organization is more than just a boss, he's a surrogate father, and the soldiers who serve under him are his sons. Brothers.

In America, the word "brother" carries a more casual weight, in that it's simply a term any black man can call another black man, even though they've only just met.

This is the basis of Takeshi Kitano's international mafia epic, whose lessons in family relations will change who you call your brother, forever.

IMDB
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Takedown (2000)

2010-12-04T03:39:00.002+01:00

If you exchange the counterfitting of money in Catch me if you Can, with hacking, you're pretty much got the sum of Takedown.

Takedown is also a great film based on a true story, about infamous hacker Kevin Mitnick who was convicted to five years in prison in the late 90s, for "being able to start a nuclear war by whistling into a pay phone".

Apparently there seems to be much criticism of the film from the hardcore hacking community, who claim the film is overly biased in authority's favor and stuffed with erroneous information

Even though much of these claims have been proved to be true, the makers of Takedown were obviously not trying to make a 100% realistic portrayal of true events, but rather an interesting movie at the top of their capabilities.

In this respect, they were more than successful.

Takedown was wrongfully marketed as Hackers 2 when it came out, to cash in on the sorry excuse of a film that is Hackers. Rest assure that other than dealing with the subject of hacking, the two films are not at all similar.

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The Sandman (1991)

2010-12-02T21:28:00.001+01:00

Behold, the Sandman cometh.

I have long ment that claymation is the the absolute apotheosis of animation.

Compared to, for example, cartoons, where a drawn interpretation of something real is made to move through changing the interpretations 25 times a second, the clay is not an interpretation of anything. The clay figures are really there, and the camera just a voyeur to their movements.

Yet it is given life through the wonder of stop-motion animation, and the result is nothing short of magic.

A perfect example of how wonderful claymation can be, is this little film.

Clocking in at a meager 9 minutes, even hinting about what the film is about would spoil the whole story. But notice how the eery mood which broods in the dark corners of the world, is seduced to come out and play with clay, in a way which mere 2D simplification will never be able to achieve.

Be sure to watch it all the way to the end, to get an extra treat after the end credits.

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Police Squad (1982)

2010-12-01T14:27:00.001+01:00

In light of Leslie Nielsen's recent passing, I would like to take a moment to remember his funniest moments on screen.

Though many will remember him as Frank Drebin from the Naked Gun films, very few seem to be aware that these films were based on a short lived TV-series by the name of Police Squad. And as always, the original is always better.

Although much of the humor on the TV show was straight out slapstick, there was also a big dose of visual humor and puns as well, which made it quite special, even by today's comedy show drenched TV.

For example: The name of each episode that was printed in big letters on the screen, would always be different to what a voice over said it to be.

"Let's go out into the Japanese garden," someone would say, only to walk into a backyard where Japanese people stood planted in big flower pots.

"Cigarette?" Frank Drebin would say in another scene, offering a smoke to a hot female suspect, which would look at it and say: "Yes, I know."

Though the show is somewhat dated today, and some of the jokes are a little bit too silly, you can still rely on mr. Nielsen's stern faced responses to bring out belly-laughs. His white haired charisma became somewhat of an icon over time, and his "never take yourself too seriously"-attitude will be remembered for a long time to come.

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War of the Worlds (1953)

2010-12-01T00:52:00.000+01:00

I'm not the only one who loves this movie. Stephen Spielberg does too.

He loved it so much, that he thought it would do with an updated version, with better effects. He forgot one thing though: The special effects in the original, as ground breaking as they were at the time, was not what made the film great.

The original War of the Worlds had a great story.

It was this story that got lost somewhere along the way in Spielberg's attempt at making a film that would please little boys and girls, and their parents alike, and he ended up with a result that was tamer than a dog on its death bed.

The original film was not so afraid to offend. It had the decency to strike hard when it was needed, and fired its punches with grace.

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Waltz with Bashir (2008)

2010-11-29T16:49:00.000+01:00

Waltz with Bashir has an important story to tell. Something about the horrors of war, becoming an adult and dealing with repressed memories.

I really can't remember it all, because the story is not the highlight of the film.

The highlight is the animation.

The groundbreaking techniques used in drawing up the film gives such beautiful results, you forget to pay attention to the story. The visuals are truly mesmerizing and fresh.

Instead of letting themselves drown in state of the art 3d-rendering and plastic looking attempts of realism, the makers of Bashir dared be artistic and achieved far more impressive images than any new Pixar film.

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In the Mouth of Madness (1995)

2010-11-28T19:08:00.000+01:00

Or actually In the Eyes of Madness. After all, it's a movie, not a BigMac.

Inspired by the life and works of Stephen King (with a pinch of H.P. Lovecraft) the film is not an adaptation of his works, but more of a parody of his career.

King has invented vast universes populated by myriads of characters that we feel we have gotten to know personally, through reading about them. As there are very few of us who know Stephen King personally and most have only read a short notice about him on the back covers of the thick books his characters inhabit, it is as if his fictional characters appear more real to us, than the actual man who invented them.

And it is this idea of fiction seeping into the world of fact, that is the subject of In the Mouth of Madness.

If seeing is believing, and believing is seeing, then how can we be sure that the images we see in our mind, does not exist in the real world? And what if what we see in our mind does appear in our life, right before our eyes? Surely that is a sure sign of madness.

Directed by John Carpenter, In the Mouth of Madness is a horror classic you'd be absolutely crazy to miss.

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Once Were Warriors (1994)

2010-11-27T16:03:00.000+01:00

Alcohol, drugs, fights, sex and extravagant parties which seem to never end.

In the beginning, Once Were Warriors appears to be a total man's movie.

But then the sun comes up and the aftermath of last night's mayhem silently dawn on the heroes of the night.

The consequences are too much for the testosterone pumped supermen to handle, and it's the women's turn to show who's the strongest.

But gender is not the issue here.

The issue is a broken people who cannot forget their proud past, no matter how much they anesthetize the memories.

As have been their tradition for thousands of years, they still fight, just to feel alive.

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Night on Earth (1991)

2010-11-26T12:23:00.003+01:00

Four cities, four cab drivers, four passengers, four stories.

That's the sum of a Night on Earth.

All stories are quite different, and although some might border on boredom, there is one which makes it all worthwhile: Roberto Benigni gives us a cab driver/stand-up routine which will stick with you for years to come. It is probably his second best performance, right after Life is Beautiful.

Like all Jarmusch's films, Night on Earth is a movie more about moods, than action, and the dialogue takes second place to what is left unspoken.

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Riget (1994 - 1997)

2010-11-25T17:30:00.002+01:00

Lars von Trier has had one hell of a career.

Riget was one of his very first creations, and it may be the one which first hinted of him being one of our time's greatest directors.

Like a movie trailer from the 60s, Riget contains drama, action, comedy, suspense and sex, in a perfect mixture that always keeps the viewer on the edge of his seat.

The closest thing I can think of to compare it with would be Twin Peaks, with its quirky characters and mysterious plot lines.

von Trier handles each scene with masterly craftsmanship, and you can tell he enjoys playing god in the strange hospital universe, in which it is set.

Sadly a few of the leading actors died before von Trier had the chance to make the planned 3rd season, but the first two will still keep you entertained for hours on end.

IMDB & IMDB
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The Dark Half (1993)

2010-11-25T01:15:00.000+01:00

How do you come up with an idea? Can you be sure it is your own brain cells crunching away? Well, what if it's not? Then where do your ideas come from? Can they come from someone else? How can you know if your thoughts are your own?

Do you hear voices?

Stephen King does. Voices told him to write the novel of which this film is based upon.

So what did he write about? Well, the voices telling him to write the book about the voices, of course.

Later, the voices in George A. Romero's head told him to make a film about the voices that told Stephen King to write a novel about the voices in his head.

Try reading that several times. Read it out loud, if you must.

Then tell me you don't hear voices.

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Momo (1986) with English subtitles

2010-11-22T11:20:00.002+01:00

I hate children's movies.

That might not be so strange, as I am no longer a child myself, but that is not what gets to me.

What gets to me is that the makers of children's movies usually rely on their audience's stupidity.

It would seem that these people think that since they are making a film that will be watched mainly by children, they don't have to adhere to common sense and logic. Too often do we see so called "family films" which consist of nothing but a bunch of one dimensional cute characters strung together by predictable clichés, leaping over hurdles of plot holes and stumbling to an ending where we find out that the evil bad guy(s) is actually only misunderstood, lonesome and good on the inside.

Most the stuff coming out from Disney and Pixar are hardly even movies, but the filmatic equivalent of shaking a key-chain in front of a baby.

There are exceptions however, and some films try to see things from a child's point of view, without simplifying life and all the situations a person (of any age) might stumble into.

Momo is one of these rare films.

Based upon an equally great novel by Michael Ende (more known for his Never Ending Story) and brought to life through the best of 80s special effects (these amazing screenshots speak for themselves) it tells a story that is both entertaining and on the button in terms of social satire.

Instead of ignoring the complexities of their characters' adversities, the makers of Momo used it as tools to portray a world that is both magical and brings a sense of recognition.

As the film was a collaboration between several countries, with actors from all over Europe, only to be dubbed especially for each country later, there is some dispute about what is the "original" audio of the film. The version I included here is in German, and while it seems to be in sync with the actors lips most of the times, there are some actors who appear to have spoken another language originally.

However, Momo is another story that I love so much that I helped create English subtitles when there was none, in an effort to spread the message.

IMDB
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Where the Buffalo Roam (1980)

2010-11-21T15:07:00.000+01:00

You seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?

Well, Where the Buffalo Roam is about the same guy; Hunter S. Thomson.

If the events in this film occur chronologically before or after the Vegas ordeal, doesn't really matter, think of it as a "and then what happened was" continuation of the legendary loon.

Whether one of the two films is the better is up to personal preference, but I think Where the Buffalo Roam is at least funnier than Fear and Loathing. The fact that it's more or less a true story, makes it all the more enjoyable.

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Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

2010-11-21T00:07:00.000+01:00

A guy falls in love with a doll, and that's it!

That's the whole movie summed up.

And yet, Lars and the Real girl is one of the most heart-wrenching love stories you'll ever see.

I've watched it at least three times, and have actually gotten teary eyes every time.

Over a goddamn doll!

The fact that the makers of this movie managed to make something so silly, so incredibly moving, is testament to their outstanding talents, and reason to keep a look out for what they will produce in the future.

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Hellraiser 1 (1987) & 2 (1988)

2010-11-19T12:29:00.000+01:00

You haven't seen Hellraiser? Where have you been? Do you even like movies at all?

It is one of the greats. A film everybody has to see.

There's nails hammered into flesh, hooks tearing through skin, souls being ripped apart... What's not to like?

Written and directed by the amazing Clive Barker, the film was a breath of rancid air, in a time when horror slumbered in campyness, fake-scares and rehashes of old rubber monsters.

Hellraiser took off the gloves, picked up the implements of destruction, and went to work.

It's not without reason the original film spawned a whole truckload of sequels, that are all best left alone.

All except the 2nd, which expands on the ideas of the original and is actually almost just as good.

IMDB 1
IMDB 2
The link bellow contains the first 8 films. Still, I'd recommend you to skip all past the 2nd.
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Battle Royale (2000)

2010-11-18T17:40:00.001+01:00

What do you get if you put 42 teenagers on an island, and tell them to kill each other?

One heck of a movie, that's what!

If for some strange reason this is the first time you hear about this film, you'll probably be thinking something along the lines of: "No, it can't be. Nothing can be this awesome!"

But actually it is even more awesome than you imagine!

There's best friends betraying each other, enemies having their final showdown, and confused crushes surfacing as hormone-crazed kids take their last gasps.

Beat Takeshi stars in one of his best roles, as the never flinching headmaster of the whole inferno, and he puts on such a show you'll have trouble containing your laughter, as the kids die one by one.

Battle Royale is a rather rare example of the film actually being better than the novel it is based on, and the "best film of the last 17 years" according to Quentin Tarantino.

Don't bother with the sequel though. Director Kinji Fukasaku died halfway through filming it, resulting in a mess of a movie.

IMDB
Below is the special edition director's cut, which features additional scenes and more blood.
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The Blob (1958) & (1988)

2010-11-17T12:23:00.003+01:00

Very rarely has a movie been so perfectly summed up by its title.

They say that the simple ideas are usually the best, and it doesn't get much simpler than this:

There's a big blob, and it's coming for you!

And the idea is so great, that it worked several times over, making it a very rare instance of a remake being of almost equal quality as the original.

Still, even though the remake had heaps better effects and a truckload of faces you recognize from practically all other 80's horror flicks, the 1958 Blob has a sense of style as well as Steve McQueen.

I think it's an easy pick.

See both now, so you have something to compare the new remake apparently coming in 2011, with.

(stay away from the 1972 version though. Trust me when I say it is not worth hunting down.)

IMDB 1958
IMDB 1988
EDIT: I accidentally made two links to the 1958 version. Should be fixed now.
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Chocolate (2008)

2010-11-16T18:40:00.001+01:00

Thailand is a country of lucid laws. Anything goes there, as long as you have a thick enough wallet.

This is also true for Thailand's movie busyness, which has really come to bloom in recent years.

When Thai movies are good, they are often a hard, brutal, boundary bending, taboo breaking and over the top.

So is also the case with this cute film about an autistic girl who literary kicks ass. The actors in Chocolate take a lot of beating, and get hurt real bad a bunch of times, but they don't seem to care. They're making a movie!

And their joy of film-making shines through the screen.

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The Exterminator (1980)

2010-11-11T12:27:00.001+01:00

The Exterminator is the older, more brutal big brother of Death Wish. Where Charles Bronson only kills people quickly and gets away to fight another day, the exterminator goes to work. He's more creative in his murders. Like an urban McGuyver, he uses whatever tools he has at hand and turns his foes into minced meat.

He doesn't give second chances. He knows not the meaning of mercy. He exterminates the problem.

And keeps the city safe, for you.

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Baadasssss! (2003)

2010-11-10T13:06:00.000+01:00

To fully appreciate blaxploitation, one must understand the times from which the phenomenon was born.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song is the infamous film that started it all, and revolutionized the movie industry in that it depicted a black man who lived throughout the entire film. Just the simple fact that a black man was used for something more than mere cannon fodder, or played as a token, was such a groundbreaking idea that it turned the world up-side-down.

The film was marked as obligatory viewing for all black panthers, and spring-boarded the whole genre. It is because of that film that we now have stars like Samuel L. Jackson, Dave Chapelle, Morgan Freeman, etc.

Sure, there were fine black actors, like Sidney Poitier, who played marvelous roles before that too, but always as "the black person." Never the hero.

And that is what blaxploitation did: It made black beautiful and gave colored people a reason to be proud. Suddenly it was cool to be colored, and white people started to imitate their black brothers, giving us John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, and all the rest.

But making the first film that showed a black man staying alive wasn't easy. Melvin van Peebles had to fight every second during filming, and as a bitter irony, it was nearly the death of the director himself.

Baadasssss! is the story behind the story.

Directed by Melvin's son, Mario van Peebles, it gives a rare rare insight into one of history's most important, yet overlooked films.

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Colors (1988)

2010-11-09T20:48:00.001+01:00

Red and blue, black, yellow, brown and white. These colors rule the street. They impact every minute of your day and set the course of your life. They decide where you can walk and who you can talk to, what you eat and who you marry.

The colors are everything. Nobody wants to acknowledge them, but those who pretend being colorblind live on borrowed time.

Again, this is not blaxploitation in the traditional sense, but it does contain many of the aspects of the genre, and probably would never have been made, had it not been for the glorious blaxploitation age that came before it.

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District 13 (2004)

2010-11-08T12:26:00.000+01:00

Everybody's that haven't been living under a rock the last 5 years, have heard about parkour. It is simply the coolest thing on earth.

District 13 is the first real parkour movie, with the founders of the sport starring in lead roles. No stunt doubles, no wires, no CGI. Just raw, inhuman talent.

With such awesome performers busting out moves that puts Jackie Chan to shame, you might think there wouldn't be much need for story. And while the story in District 13 doesn't really bring anything you haven't seen before, it's the setting which is the real star of the film: A future dystopia where the only people who don't carry an arsenal of handguns, are dead.

It's all a bit silly, and don't hold even a drop of water, but common... it's just an action film.

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The Cook the Thief His Wife & Her Lover (1989)

2010-11-07T13:42:00.000+01:00

I don't know much about opera, but The Cook and his Posse must be one of the greatest restaurant operas ever told.

The cinematography alone is enough to give your eyes an orgasm. Everything is red or black, and you can feel love and death lurking in every scene from the very start.

The story is particularly twisted, besieged by powerful characters who play their parts as chess pieces, in a game where everybody is doomed to lose.

And then, there is song. Sudden and unexpected, yet perfectly fitting, in the absurd universe Peter Greenway has created. Wonderful tunes flow from the genius brain of Mycheal Nyman, captivating and encapsulating your every pore.

At the end of it all you're left like the victim of a traffic accident, wondering what hit you and if you can get whatever it was to hit you again.

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Death Wish (1974)

2010-11-06T12:19:00.007+01:00

The great thing about Charles Bronson is that he doesn't look very peculiar. He's not handsome, but not ugly either. Neither old nor young, rich, nor poor. Just your everyday average Joe walking past you on the street, standing behind you in line at the bank or sitting next to you on the train.

You've met him a thousand times before, but you've never noticed him.

Until you one day find yourself in a desperate situation. One of those times of urban violence that makes every innocent by-passer freeze. People stand around and watch the blind brutalities that plays out before them, but nobody moves or speaks out.

Except one man. The last person you'd ever had thought had it in him, suddenly breaks the trance and brings his own hard justice.

You'll never forget his face after that. You'll sleep better knowing there is someone out there who has more guts than you. Someone who don't take shit from nobody. Someone you just don't mess with.

Not unless you have a death wish.

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Audition (1999)

2010-11-05T09:39:00.001+01:00

The poster is very misleading. This is actually a love story. A sweet and beautiful love story.

Directed by Takashi Miike (who also did Ichi the Killer. Hint, hint)

ENOUGH!

I've said too much!

IMDB
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Firestarter (1984)

2010-11-04T12:12:00.001+01:00

Stephen King is many things. Pulp fiction novelist, hack, megalomaniac mass producing machine of cheap literature, etc.

He is also a brilliant writer, and a great influence on modern literature and pop culture.

Having written about 50 novels, it goes without saying that not all his books are equally brilliant. Some are mediocre, some are just boring, and some are nothing but rehashes of things other people have done better before.

But there are some which are mind expanding. Firestarter is one of these novels.

However Stephen King is not only a vastly successful writer, he has also been "blessed" with having an amazing amount of his work adapted for the screen.

Again, many of these films are horrible butchering of the original work.

But a handful of films were able to retain some of the glory from the books, and turned into excellent films.

Firestarter, the film, is definitely among the best, much thanks to Drew Barrymore, who gives us what must be the greatest performance by any 9 year, in the history of film.

IMDB
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Altered States (1980)

2010-11-03T12:32:00.001+01:00

Different realities, parallel universes, modified consciousness...

You see, Altered states is a trip...

But it's not.

It's all real.

Inside a water tank,

inside a film.

And maybe the outside world,

is real too?

IMDB
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Drugstore Cowboy (1989)

2010-11-02T01:26:00.003+01:00

If Charles Bukowski did junk instead of alcohol, he would be the Drugstore Cowboy.

It's that kind of story.

No glamor. No glory. No honor. No pride. No excuses. No change for the better.

Just life.

People scraping the bottom of society, trying to get by, and doing what they must.

Still, they have hopes and dreams and values and love.

They're still people.

And stripped of all the material superficialities we take for granted, these people stand out as more real, more true, more interesting than any of us.

This film is their poem.

IMDB
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