The Castle (1997)

I would like to thank all of you who follow this blog, for all the nice comments and feedback and kind words. It's you who inspire me to keep on going, and post ever more obscure films.

My Christmas present to you is a warm and fuzzy comedy from down under, whose characters might very well be the definition of quirkiness. There's no violence or horror or even that much drama. The Castle is simply good wholesome entertainment, that is perfect for a snuggly time with your loved ones, in between all the food and drinks and hugs and kisses.

Happy holidays!

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Kindred: The Embraced (1996)

Twilight is raking it in at the box office and True Blood  is still going strong. 

These are troubled times.

Kids these days... (yes, I said it) They don't know about the alternatives.

You don't have to settle for less, you know. There are good vampire shows out there.

More exciting and dramatic and stylish and romantic and sexy and scary: the magnificence of The Kindred has yet to be surpassed.

This show had it all, and was only cancelled because the lead actor died in a motorcycle accident.

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Threads (1984) & The Day After (1983)

Like Armageddon & Deep Impact, Antz & A Bugs Life, Repo & Repo Men, these two are also sibling films that for some reason came out at just about the same time.

They both try to give a realistic portrayal of what it would be like in the event of a nuclear war, but to be perfectly honest, it's been a fair while since I saw them, and I can't really remember which is which. One is British and one American, but other than that I just remember enjoying both of them in a disturbing kind of way.

You got your bombs and smoke-clouds and fallout. And there's panic and disease and people generally having a lousy time of it...

You know: Entertainment.

The fact that they came out in the 80s however, meant that the cold war was still going on, and the apocalyptic threat was not taken as lightly. Still, there's nothing like a good scare to make you appreciate life, and as such these films still manages to rattle the cage.

Threads IMDB
The Day After IMDB

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The Running Man (1987)

Is The Running Man a good movie? Well... eh....

Is it awesome? FUCK YEAH!

"Good" and "enjoyable" doesn't always have to mean the same thing. In fact, they can be just about opposite, as proved in this Stephen King classic.

While the premise is not a bad one (convicted felons being forced to run for their lives while cartoonish hitmen hunt them down on live television) the movie has not aged well. It was made in the 80s, but the costumes and sets and music and camerawork all have a coarse quality that feel like the 70s. It's actually somewhat reminiscent of Logan's Run in style, and difficult to believe it actually came three years after the first Terminator film.

But common... this is Arnold at the top of his game! He's big, and he runs, and he struggles to utter simple catchphrases... What's not to love? Back in those days, it wasn't a question of liking Schwarzenegger or not. It was a question of getting your ass kicked.

Those were the days...

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Detours (2004)

This is something totally different.

The short explanation would be to call it a breakdance video. However that doesn't quite cover it. I'd rather say it's an artistic endeavor of remarkable visuals, set to enticing music.

There is breakdance, sure, but not the silly robot-moves you remember from the 80s. These guys twist their bodies in such impossible ways, they are often asked if there's any bone structure beneath their skin. You've seen one of the performers, who goes by the name David Elsewhere, on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Alice in Wonderland, Heineken and Volkswagen ads, as well as other viral videos.

But then, this is not merely a video showcasing dancing. Using out of the way locations in an unnamed metropol, the camerawork, editing and simple effects, create an immersive experience, that's somehow soothing, and perfect eye-candy to project on a wall at a party, or to keep you entertained on those days you don't have energy for thoughts.

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The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)

Another Stuart Gordon gem. This time with good old Lance "Scarface" Henriksen.

One of the reasons I want to post this, is that a little while ago I had to write a review of Season of the Witch. In case you haven't seen that (and I hope you haven't) let me spare you. It's bad. No, it's worse than bad: it's insulting!

Still, when I checked the IMDB page, I found tons of people who actually though it was a good movie. While everyone is of course entitled to their opinion, I believe that anyone who thinks Season of the Witch is a decent film, doesn't have much of a reference.

They can't know that it's been done before.

With superior actors, better effects, prettier women, more elaborate sets, and a story that actually makes sense.

While it does have its flaws, The Pit and the Pendulum is still so much better, it make Season of the Witch feel like someone spit in your face.

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An Evening with Kevin Smith (2002)

This is something only the hardcore film freaks will enjoy, but he or she will enjoy it endlessly!

Combining stand-up and behind-the-scenes gossip, Kevin Smith holds a Q&A about what it is like being Kevin Smith. That's all. Just a guy standing on a stage answering questions.

But even if you're not a big fan of his movies, his storytelling skills, snappy responses, charisma and humor, will have you in tears. His story about a script he wrote for a Superman film that never came to be, makes it the only Q&A you will ever want to see multiple times..

This was such a success that several sequels were produced. However, like sequels go, none of those reached the same level of excellence.

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The Sting (1973)

The Sting is as close to a perfect movie you're gonna get, ranking up there with The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, The Good the Bad and the Ugly and Shawshank Redemption. It was a huge production that won a whole bunch of Oscars, and was a tremendous success when it first came out.

Yet, for some reason, it is very rarely mentioned, and just about non-existent when compared to the aforementioned films.

So let's go back to the 1930s, when style was what it was all about. The hats, the suspenders, the wooden interiors, the cigars, the women and the deck of cards...

Like watching a good flower power film about the hippy times, The Sting paints a picture of the 30s in such a way that you will be wishing you were around in those days.

The plot is a ballet of perfectly knitted scenes which entertain to no end, and a whole pile of twists that spin you around like a ballerina. Paul Newman and Robert Redford were born to play the smiling con-men, both with a whole pack of aces up their sleeves, and the music... well... can't you hear it playing in your head already?

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Thumb Wars (1999)

I'm not really a Star Wars fan, but this thumbellion parody is so hilarious, I've seen it again and again.

It's just what it sounds like: Star Wars with thumbs.

While Star Wars parodies have become so common they're basically dominating youtube, this is the one that gets everything right.

Written and directed by the great Steve Oedekerk (who also brought you Kung Pow) the jokes are so tightly wound, it'll take multiple viewings just to get half of them.

After watching this, you'll be ecstatic to know there's five more thumb parodies out there. Sadly, mr. Oedekerk has nothing but producer credits on the others, and except for Batthumb which is mildly amusing, the rest are best avoided.

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The Hidden (1987)

The 80s was a long exercise in bad taste, but boy did some awesome movies come out of it.

The Hidden is the perfect example.

It has everything a good movie needs: Strippers, revolvers, fast cars, shotguns, aliens, flame throwers, drugs, Kyle MacLachlan, bazookas, great one-liners, a messed up ending and a handicapped man being run over to a hard rock soundtrack. There's lot's of explosions and a pretty cool story to boot. A police station shoot-out is so bad ass, it rivals the one in The Terminator. And everything is made with a disdain for the political correctness that's messed up all action films to come after.

Don't bother with the incredibly boring sequel though.

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The Isle (2000)

The Isle is one of my favorite Ki-duk Kim films.

It's a bit difficult to describe why, because like all his films, it is very quiet, with almost no dialogue, and all about the atmosphere.

He even made one of the characters mute. Still, she is a glorious femme fatale, though (like all of her kind) she does not wish to be.

The title might be a play on the term "No man is an island" with emphasis on -play- as the dear director physically put a man on house-boat floating on a lake.

I won't give any more away, except to say it's a love story that I can recommend as something to watch with a girlfriend or wife or transvestite prostitute or whatever female company you like to keep. Unless your loved one is the type who's into Fast and the Furious and Jason Statham. Then I advice you make fun of her, and tell her she's fat.

Because if The Isle teaches us anything, it is that love should hurt.

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Fear of a Black Hat (1993)

"What is the difference between a bitch and a ho? A ho fucks everyone, but a bitch fucks everyone except you."

Want more? Well, you're just gonna have to watch this hilarious spoof about the rise and fall of a crew of hip hopping yo-yo-wadzap-dudes.

You will witness: Big booty bitches that match over sized egos, giant watches and too wide pants, misogynistic lyrics to crappy 90s beats, racism, cursing, violence, bad acting and hats.

Lots of hats.
 
Hailed by some as the Spinal Tap of hip hop, Fear of a Black Hat is one of the funniest mocumentaries on rap music there is. (Though Ali-G is pretty great, to my knowledge there is only one more movie in the narrow genre. And that plain out sucks!)

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