Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)

From the guy who made the crunching Bone Tomahawk, comes another brutal drama with emphasis on the brutality.

This movie literally kicks ass to such a degree that you could say it is more of a horror film disguised as a drama, owing more to the infamous prison-splatter Riki-Oh, than the feelgood of Shawshank Redemption.

Vince Vaughn surprises by playing a rather subdued lead for once, lacking his usual over-the-top theatrics. He's also an excellent fighter, with a peculiar simplistic style. It's not so much kung-fu, as simple fist fighting performed with impeccable precision and tremendous force.

Most of all though, there's a brooding atmosphere throughout the film and you can feel that it's only a matter of time before it explodes. And without spoiling anything, I can promise you that the ending does not disappoint ;)

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Dead End Drive-In (1986)

Why the hell did it take me so long to check out this beautiful gem?

Like a perfect mix between Street Trash & Troma, it features retro-futuristic punk nihilism with drops of Kafka and a sprinkle of The Cars that Ate Paris topped with Mad Max. I'm telling you, this film's got it all!
 
The cinematography is also fantastic and the colors are like a surreal candy dream that almost makes me wish I still was into acid.


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Ebola Syndrome (1996)

If ever you find yourself cheering more for the badguy than the do-gooders trying to sabotage their evil plans, then this film is for you.

It's the story of one of the most disgustingly lovable baddies of all time. We follow an ugly, bad-smelling psychopath on adventures of rape, murder and cannibalism, as he abuses a bunch of undeserving victims, and even contracts Ebola along the way.

Honk Kong cinema legend Anthony Wong does and outstanding job as the most obnoxious human being on the planet, whose utter indifference to basic decency is nothing but a delight.

And if that all sounds extremely depressing, then trust me when I say that it's actually not at all. The general fucked uppedness of this whole thing makes it into a pitch black comedy of sorts. But make sure to get the full uncut version though, as that's kind of the whole point.

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The Night Comes for Us (2018)

OH YES! This is a pure orgasm of a film that made me so euphoric, it reminded me of why I fell in love with movies in the first place.

The story is not that important. There's some stuff about Asian Triad-mafia, hitmen with exceptional skills, and a little girl who everyone wants to kill. It's pretty much just a bunch of shallow excuses to set up one over-the-top fight scene after the other, where barbaric killing machines effectively turn each other into so much minced meat.

As you might have guessed, this is not a film for people with a low tolerance for pain. Every punch is a bone-cracking hammer of raw agony that you almost feel on your own body. Blood gushes onto walls and body parts fly, while knives, machetes and axes chop away huge parts of meat from a never-ending flow of willing victims. 

Of course there's also a sprinkle of eccentric characters with their individual favorite weapons, who drops über-cool lines likes:

- You're going to regret that.
- What? That I called you a bitch?
- No. That you're wearing white clothes.

The choreography is a masterwork in itself, and the camera work is the best I've ever seen. The filmmakers don't rely on hyperactive editing to make things more intense, but instead lets the camera follow hand movements, so that we smash into the victim along with the fist.

The whole thing is so brutally awesome, that it makes The Matrix look like your mother's favorite cooking show. And just like The Matrix once raised the bar for the action genre in a way that has been mimicked ever since, we can only hope that The Night Comes for Us will have just as much impact. There's little doubt that this is the best movie of the year, and Hollywood better take notes as THIS is the way action is supposed to be.

There's also a heft dose of pitch black humor, and the carousel of violence had me giggling like a child, clapping my hands with each new mutilation. And when it was finally over, all I wanted to do was to wipe the blood from my eyes, and go again.


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Hardcore Henry (2015)

KABLAM!

Hardcore Henry is one long explosion. Grenades, bullets, knives and even flamethrowers blasts across the screen non-stop for 96 minutes. And since it's all shot in the first person's point of view, you're not given many seconds to relax between all the carnage.

Even though the action is quite insane from the very beginning, the film somehow manages to continuously up the ante, right up till the utterly bonkers ending.

So forget all about your lame Hollywood blockbuster. THIS is true action. Hardcore!

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The Evil Dead Trilogy (1981 - 1992)

When I first started this blog some 11 years ago, I didn't want to mention this franchise since I figured it would be too obvious. However, since then I've written up quite a few other films that are much more recognized, so now it's almost become weird that Evil Dead is missing from the site.

So here they are: the most celebrated horror movies of all time, with a fandom that truly defines the meaning of "cult". If you're one of the four people left on the planet that still haven't seen these, then you're probably Amish.

Although the title makes it obvious that these are horror movies, the genres actually changes with each new entry. While the first one is pretty much straight up horror, the second one takes a turn into comedy, and the third one is an asskicking action adventure. There was also a remake that upped the gore factor and a campy TV-series, both with variable success, but this is the original trilogy that everybody adores.

And while each film has its own qualities, the main reason to watch any of them can be summed up with two words: Bruce Campbell. His portrayal of the goofy but well-meaning main character has become more iconic than Chaplin’s Tramp, Willis’ John McClane and Schwarzenegger's Terminator. The guy is just one big lump of pure awesomeness!

So even if you’ve already seen these films 10 times, why not start from the beginning once again, and revisit the evil dead that lurk within the woods.

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Let the Corpses Tan (2017)

Watching this film is like doing psychoactive drugs. There's colors and sounds shooting at you from every angle at such speeds, that half the time you have no idea what the hell is going on.

It feels like a 90-minute music video, from filmmakers that were more interested in looking cool, than being coherent. And it would probably be quite nauseating, if it wasn't also incredibly stylish.

One outlandish image after the other explodes onto the screen, and you can have a field day just grabbing random screenshots. At least, that's what I did.

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Les derniers jours du monde (2009)

When the world finally does go under, what better way to spend your final hours, than by getting it on? That about sums up this cool flick, where a man hooks up with a bunch of women while the world crumbles around them.

And while we've already seen the American apocalypse in a myriad of movies, I found it refreshing that this film shows us how Europe would fare, as our hero travels from country to country searching for that perfect happy ending.

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The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

While this was a modest hit back in the day, it did not receive the attention it deserved. And that's rather sad, because this is in fact Indiana Jones 4.

Now, you might argue that there was already another film called Indiana Jones 4, but if so, you would be mistaken. That Kingdom of the Crystal Skull shit was NOT an Indy film! The list of things wrong with that trash is too long to mention, but suffice to say that it featured none of the spirit of the other Indy films, and came off more as a mockbuster.

However, everything that was wrong with Crystal Skull, is RIGHT with Tintin. This film is funny and exciting and action-filled, with great characters, snappy dialogue and marvelous locations, making it pretty much the perfect adventure flick.

The similarities to Indy are also there in abundance, so much so, that changing the main character's name, would actually be the only thing required to make it an official Indy film. So if you just pretend Indy used to be called Tintin in his 20s, you'll be delighted to relive the excitement of Raiders of the Lost Ark once again.

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Starship Troopers (1997)

Oh, man I remember when this first came out. It's one of those films where you walked out of the cinema feeling all psyched on a pure adrenaline rush of awesomeness.

The story can pretty much be summed up as a glorious blood bath, with sexy stars and ugly aliens getting slaughtered left and right. And even though the movie carries a distinct message about anti-totalitarianism and what have you, it's all tongue in cheek satire.

So whatever your political views might be, there's no denying how awesomely entertaining it is to witness the mayhem of an inter-planetary war.

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Blood Drive (2017)

Whenever I tell people about this show, I always get the same reaction: "You're kidding right?"

The concept is simply to outrageous to be believed without seeing it for yourself. So what is it about?

A car race where the engines run on human blood, and all the contestants have bombs around their necks that will blow up if they should come in last, unless they engage in anal sex.

Yep, that's right. Anal sex in blood-thirsty cars makes for some pretty awesome entertainment! And if you think that sounds too good to be true, you'll be delighted to know that it's not even a fraction of all the delicious depravity in each episode. There's also cyborgs, cannibals, kung-fu and a cult of amazonian women who of course use men as milking bags for semen.

It even features a starlet killer, in the form of Julian Slink. Even though the show was cancelled after the first season, I really hope we get to see more of this guy, 'cause anything he does is equivalent to cinematic heroin.

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Oldboy (2003)

Here's another one everybody has seen. I was actually considering not writing about it because it's too well know, however it's also too great to leave out.

The story is as original as it is intriguing: A guy is abducted and put in a strange cell for 15 years, only to be let out one day without knowing why. The rest of the film is about trying to figure out who was behind it all.

It features one of the best endings to any film in cinematic history, and boy... even though I just warned you about it, you'll never see it coming ;)


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A Conspiracy of Faith (2016)

I'm not a fan of detective stories. More times than not, I find them just a boring trek through muddled clues, only to discover that "Ahaaaa, so that guy was the murderer after all."

This one is different.

First of all, the film reveals who the badguy is right from the start. Similarly to the fantastic Chaser, this Norwegian/Danish film is not about figuring out who, but rather about how to stop the monster.

Secondly, it's also a clever and at times even funny film, that explores the theme of religion in a rather ingenious way. With one detective being muslim and the other an atheist, they are the perfect team to investigate a religious psychopath, while quarreling about faith along the way.

PS: This is actually the third film in a series about a special police department. But there's no need to see the previous two films, as they are pretty much exactly the kind of lackluster detective stories that are not worth wasting your time on.

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Chaser (2008)

PHEW! THE INTENSITY!

This Korean film does not let you breathe.

It's a very straight story, about a kidnapper and the guy who tries to stop him. Of course, that's easier said than done, resulting in a cat and mouse chase that has you on the edge of your seat from beginning 'till end.

Will he stop him, or will he not? That's pretty much all there is to it. But if you're looking for an excellent thriller, this is about as good as it gets.


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68 Kill (2017)

Did you love Cheap Thrills? Of course you did! So now you want more, right?

Well, that's exactly what 68 Kill is: More fucked up comedy gold from Trent Haaga. This time around he not only wrote but also directed the film, and will have you slap yourself silly with laughter from things which really are no laughing matter.

I don't want to reveal much but I'll just say that it has the funniest snuff scenes I've ever seen. So if that's something you think you'll be able to laugh about then you've just found the golden goose.

Honestly, this was the best movie I saw in 2017. So don't miss out!


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Freaks of Nature (2015)

Vampires, werewolves, zombies and aliens: This one's got it all!

At the same time, it's also a goofy high-school comedy with the standard "shy boy falls in love with hot girl"-storyline, reminiscent of John Cusack movies from the 80s. So whatever you're in the mood for, this film is sure to have you covered.

It obviously has a rather large budget with impressive production values for such a silly concept, and quite frankly I'm surprised the movie is not more talked about.

So take it for a spin, and do tell me what you think =)

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The Baytown Outlaws (2012)

This one is pure entertainment!

For once, a film not only lives up to its awesome poster, but goes well beyond, in a completely over-the-top carnage of guns and gasoline.

Though it has certainly borrowed several ideas from Mad Max 2, Baytown Outlaws is more playful and has no illusions about being taken seriously.

It's simply a perfect grindhouse feature, with hot women and slick assholes saying silly catchphrases before shooting off way more bullets than any gun would realistically hold.

The great Billy Bob Thornton is also at the top of his game, and I suspect this role might have been what got him cast as the deliciously depraved super-villain of Fargo: Season 1.

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The Revenant (2009)

So Leonardo DiCaprio finally won his Oscar, and it was indeed a great movie. However, what wasn't all that great, was that the film took the same title as one of the most underappreciated movies of the last decade. And with DiCaprio's Revenant receiving so much attention, it meant that this little gem went to rest in cinema obscurity. And that sucks, 'cause 2009's Revenant is also quite the film.

This one is more of a buddy-film, akin to Dead Heat. As the poster reveals, one of these buddies finds himself dead, and must figure out how to "live" with the situation, but unlike Dead Heat, this film is played with a straight face, similarly to I Zombie: Chronicles of Pain.

There's also a lot of guns, gore, and dildos, with a wonderfully bleak sense of humor throughout. Try imagining Tarantino directing a zombie flick, and you might have an idea where this is going.

Perfect viewing with a bunch of friends and beer, or on a hangover Sunday.


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Bronson (2008)

These days, everybody and their pet monkey loves Tom Hardy. It seems there's nothing the British actor can do, that doesn't get drenched with global appraisal, even though nobody can really understand a word that comes out of his mouth.

Everybody loves Nicolas Winding Refn too. The Danish director always had a cult fan following from his Pusher trilogy, but after the success of Drive, his name got etched into the minds of movie buffs world-wide.

Following these statements, you'd think it natural that the only cooperation these two idols have done, would also be highly cherished. And yet, Bronson somehow managed to slip through the cracks, and exists only in the murky world of unrecognized gems. Which is a real shame, as it's truly a fantastic movie.

The film has it all: There's fighting, there's laughter, there's growling, there's nudity, there's more fighting, there's madness, there's sex, there's elaborate face-painting, and did I mention that there's also fighting?

Be sure to watch it with subtitles though, because if it's one thing Tom Hardy is known for, it's mumbling every word into a mangled slush-language.

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Ong Bak (2003)

While I do enjoy a good kung-fu movie, they can sometimes get a bit repetitive. Especially after the Matrix kung-fu renascence, which became such a huge hit that every film suddenly had to feature the same too-fast-to-see moves, which looked more like kids playing hand clapping games.

But then, out of nowhere came Ong Bak, and shook everything up. Instead of mere speed and acrobatics, the choreography focused on force and brutality. Lead actor Tony Jaa jumped right across a room and delivered double elbows to the head of his brutish opponent. He broke ribs with granite knees and smoldered walls in the process. Every blow looked lethal as the sad recipient fell down several floors, and hit his head along the way.

The film was such a fresh breath of air in a genre gone somewhat stale, it influenced everything that came after.

Forget about the sequels though. Seriously, don't even go there.

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